The Life of Us

7 months

2012-03-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

I still clearly remember getting the text while camping 5 hours away; telling me to call my sister's house, that Darren is dead. It really feels like yesterday that it happened. Has 7 months really passed. I was pondering the fact that 7 months seems like a long time. But really it's only a drop in the bucket compared to the over 20 years we had Darren in our lives. He was really a true brother to me. Brother in Law does not give him the credit he deserves for how he stepped up to help and protect me.
I still cry myself to sleep some nights over the grief. The magnitude of Darren's death is massive. He left a large hole. I sometimes still need to take melatonin to help me sleep because the grief keeps me awake.
I still think he's going to show up with his cocky grin and some smart ass comment. I can clearly picture exactly how he would look. I don't have pictures up of Darren, they make me to angry. I know there is no point in being angry at him. It wasn't his fault. But the enormity of the situation and the sadness, grief and the never going to happens; that makes me angry.
I'm angry that my sister has to grieve her husband, that my nieces and nephew have to grieve their dad. I'm angry with all my sister needs to do and accomplish with out a husband.
The grief is always with me. I hide it well, but it's there. I'll cry for what seems like no reason. But it's grief. If you're my friend, you likely don't know the sadness that sits with me all day, each day. I hide it. I have a feeling people forget and frankly are tired of knowing the grief we feel. I get that it's hard to know how to act or what to say. There is nothing to say in all reality, nothing makes it better. So I might as well keep it hidden until my mind goes out on it's own and brings me into the grief again.
If this is where I am at, can you imagine how my sister feels. She makes it thru it each day, I have no clue how. She is so strong. I'm sure she feels lost most of the time. She just prefers to not discuss it to much at this point. It hurts to much. People ask what they can do for her. I really don't know what to say. She can always use a meal. She is emotionally and physically exhausted at the end of the day so I imagine it's hard to get a meal on the table. I think just even to let her know you are thinking about her and you know it's hard. A note of encouragement, flowers. Anything practical you can think of.
And we keep wading thru the grief, praying the journey will make sense at some point.

Menu Plan Monday

2012-03-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

I was a little too ambitious last week. I was sicker then I thought so my meals did not all get made. We still managed to eat at home, simple fare as all our tummy's were still sensitive.
This week, I'm trying to get to some of those yummy meals.

MONDAY
I never got to the spaghetti sauce last week
so here we go for this week

Source: budgetbytes.blogspot.com via Tara on Pinterest

TUESDAY
Garlic Lime Chicken

Source: randomanderson.wordpress.com via Tara on Pinterest

Mashed Potatoes
Salad

WEDNESDAY
This same stew from last week

Source: tastykitchen.com via Tara on Pinterest

I never got to this meal either

THURSDAY
Left over spaghetti, baked
Salad

FRIDAY
Turkey Burgers
Salad

SATURDAY
A Bean and Vegetable Soup of some sort

As always, be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie
each Monday for tons of menu ideas

Menu Plan Monday

2012-03-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

I have been missing in action,

but I have had a menu plan.

It went out the window this last week

we were all sick with a terrible cold

so we didn't eat a whole lot.

I have a few crock pot meals this week

to help me until I'm 100% again

MONDAY

Slow Cooker Chicken Rice Soup

I have some Par Baked sprouted Grain bread

cut veggies

TUESDAY

Black Bean and Rice Tacos

with these homemade tortillas

served with avocados, lettuce, tomatoes

Source: tasteofhome.com via Tara on Pinterest

these are the easiest and so far the best

tortillas I have tried so far

WEDNESDAY

this slow cooker marinara sauce

with spaghetti noodles

Greek Salad

Source: budgetbytes.blogspot.com via Tara on Pinterest

THURSDAY

some hearty beef stew

with greek yogurt biscuits

Cut veggies

Source: tastykitchen.com via Tara on Pinterest

Source: healthyrecipesblogs.com via Tara on Pinterest

FRIDAY

left overs

Greek Salad

SATURDAY

Pizza Bread

with slow cooker marinara sauce for dipping

cut veggies

Source: ivoryhut.com via Tara on Pinterest

SUNDAY

left overs....again

And of course, as always
be sure to head over to
The Organizing Junkie
for more menu planning ideas

Randomcity

2012-03-01T20:48:00.000-08:00

My big boy Tonka on the dog bed. The dog has tried to get on his bed when Tonka is on it.....Tonka growls at him and Chance backs away

Tonka is HUGE...but you won't ever see him if you come over.....he is very shy and will hide the entire time

Our new little girly Ursala has decided she likes the dog bed also.

But she is willing to share with Chance.

We had a froggy visit recently

And a white tiger

4 cats

1 dog

2 kids

a full house

I love it!

Menu Plan Update

2012-02-29T21:20:00.000-08:00

It's way past Monday, but I did do up a menu plan. I just never got to posting it....uh oh.
Last week I made some fantastic turkey meatballs with couscous

And some yum yum yummy Greek chicken skewers with roasted potatoes and roasted veg

Those were two highlights of my last week.
This week on Monday, we had turkey burgers with salad. Tuesday I celebrated my birthday and made a favorite meal for my family. Crockpot grainfed roast beef with mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding and a beautiful salad. Tonight I made a BBQ cedar plank salmon with couscous and salad.
I still greatly dislike any fish, but my kids didn't notice I didn't eat it, so that's good. They love it.

THURSDAY
Spaghetti with a meat sauce
Salad
this had been my families most requested meal
they have asked for it for three weeks in a row

FRIDAY
my girly turns 3!
Panko Chicken strips
Roasted potato wedges
Salad
and possibly a princess birthday cake
if I can get my act together

SATURDAY
Chicken Soup
cut veggies

SUNDAY
left overs

I have been wanting to make some more snacks for the kids. I made these super easy granola bars and my family really loves them. They were so super easy.

Homemade Chewy Granola Bars
1/2 cup peanut butter or sunbutter
1/3 cup honey
1/4 cup coconut oil (or another oil of your choice)
1 cup oats
1 cup total of any combination of: sesame seeds, coconut flakes, sunflower seeds, dried fruit, mini chocolate chips
**I used sesame seeds, coconut flakes, sunflower seeds, chopped pumpkin seeds. I'll be adding chia and flax next time
In a medium sized saucepan, melt together peanut butter, honey and coconut oil.
Remove from heat and add one cup of oats. Choose your favorite combination of coconut flakes, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, dried fruit and mini chocolate chips, to equal a total of ONE CUP. (I just got out my one cup measuring cup and poured in the ingredients until the cup was full.) Pour in and stir well.
Stir well, then spread mixture into a 8×8 or 9×4 pan.
Chill for two hours, then cut into bars.
Wrap in plastic wrap for a quick grab and go snack!
Recipe is courtesy from Heavenly Homemakers

Mine looked different then from the original recipe, but they are oh so good!

Menu Plan Monday

2012-02-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

I managed to stick to my menu plan for the most part last week even knocked down with a cold. When I got to the cauliflower fritters, I lost my steam. I still cooked at home, so that is a total bonus.

MONDAY

Source: familyfreshmeals.com via Tara on Pinterest

CrockPot Scalloped Potatoes

Baked Chicken

Salad

TUESDAY

Honey Garlic Turkey Meatballs

on Couscous

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Source: randomanderson.wordpress.com via Tara on Pinterest

Garlic Lime Chicken

Greek Potatoes

Salad

THURSDAY

Homemade Pizza

Cut Veggies

FRIDAY

Spaghetti

with meat sauce

Salad

SATURDAY

leftovers

SUNDAY

I possibly have a family dinner

we are just waiting to see if

everyone overcomes their colds

for more menu planning ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

2012-02-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

Source: eat-drink-smile.com via Tara on Pinterest

If you stalk around on Pinterest like I do; you have most certainly seen numerous 'pins' for a Cauliflower Pizza Crust. I of course 'pinned' it and wanted to give it a try.
I mean, really a sorta healthier version of pizza....YES PLEASE!
I very much enjoy pizza, my family very much enjoys pizza. I've been making my own crust for some time. We tend to like a nice thin whole wheat crust with a variety of toppings.
So with all my extra cauliflower this week I was determined to make the Cauliflower Pizza Crust.
It was really very easy to make. I 'riced' the cauliflower and steamed it in the microwave earlier in the day so it would be cooler to handle when I was ready to make the pizza.
My 'riced' cauliflower equaled about 3 cups so I made two pizza crusts, one smaller and one bigger. I actually followed the recipe with the exception that I did mozzerella cheese and pepper jack cheese in the crust.
The crust came together nicely on my pizza stones and baked as the recipe indicated. I assembled my pizza's and broiled them on the bottom rack as I had made them earlier in the day and they did need to heat thru.
The difference with the cauliflower crust, it doesn't hold up like a regular crust, you can't just pick the pizza up in your hand and eat it. It is totally a knife and fork dinner.
My family really enjoyed it. My kids didn't even realized it was cauliflower. My boy had 3 pieces; with no cheese as he tells me cheese tastes like worms. I'm not sure how he figures or knows that, but really, I'm not gonna argue about cheese on his pizza, I just make his half with out cheese and he pounds it back, no complaints; including the broccoli on it or what ever concoction I've put together that day. So if he doesn't want the extra fat of the cheese, really why argue when he eats everything else and is happy with dinner....cheese-less.
My husband really liked it, but wanted to 'hold' the pizza and wonders if I can figure how to make firmer to hold together more like an actual pizza crust.
I am tired of cauliflower, I now realize why I really never buy it. I'm not a big fan of it. The crust was fine, it tasted fine. BUT...I'm a carb lover and I missed the regular pizza crust. The chewy goodness of the carbs, even with a thin crust....mmmmm.
I was very happy to have a cauliflower free dinner tonight....tomorrow night....cauliflower fritters....*sigh*

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

Serves 2; Adapted from Your Lighter Side.

Ingredients:

1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp crushed garlic
1/2 tsp garlic salt
olive oil (optional)
pizza sauce, shredded cheese and your choice of toppings*

Directions:

To "Rice" the Cauliflower:
Take 1 large head of fresh cauliflower, remove stems and leaves, and chop the florets into chunks. Add to food processor and pulse until it looks like grain. Do not over-do pulse or you will puree it. (If you don't have a food processor, you can grate the whole head with a cheese grater). Place the riced cauliflower into a microwave safe bowl and microwave for 8 minutes. There is no need to add water, as the natural moisture in the cauliflower is enough to cook itself.
One large head should produce approximately 3 cups of riced cauliflower. The remainder can be used to make additional pizza crusts immediately, or can be stored in the refrigerator for up to one week.
To Make the Pizza Crust:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick cooking spray.
In a medium bowl, stir together 1 cup cauliflower, egg and mozzarella. Add oregano, crushed garlic and garlic salt, stir. Transfer to the cookie sheet, and using your hands, pat out into a 9" round. Optional: Brush olive oil over top of mixture to help with browning.
Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes.
Remove from oven. To the crust, add sauce, toppings and cheese. Place under a broiler at high heat just until cheese is melted (approximately 3-4 minutes).
Enjoy!
*Note that toppings need to be precooked since you are only broiling for a few minutes.

Note for those that don’ t have a microwave:
You can steam the florets on the stove before ricing them. The texture/consistency won’t be the same (It will be more like a puree) but it still works fine once you mix all the ingredients together! I know because I’ve tried it that way too!

Pasta with Cauliflower

2012-02-15T20:33:00.000-08:00

So I mentioned that I had gotten 3 heads of organic cauliflower when I hardly ever buy cauliflower. I needed to come up with some ways to use all this beautiful cauliflower up.
I came across this recipe on Pinterest; Pasta with Cauliflower. I had it in my food file there, so I figured I would give it a try.

Pasta with Cauliflower

2 Tbs. salt
1 cauliflower, cut into florets, then coarsely chopped
~~8 Tbs~~. olive oil *I used only 4 Tbs
4 large garlic cloves, minced
6 to 8 green onions, white and tender green parts, thinly sliced
2 tsp. ~~minced fresh marjoram~~ *I used fresh organic basil
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes
3 Tbs. minced fresh ~~flat-leaf~~ parsley *I didn't have flat leaf, just the common variety
2 cups chicken or vegetable broth
3/4 lb. ~~conchigliette or other small pasta shells~~ *Rotini
~~1/4 cup fresh bread crumbs~~ *I didn't have this...opps

Cook the cauliflower
Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the salt and cauliflower to the boiling water and cook until tender, about 7 minutes. Using a skimmer or slotted spoon, transfer the cauliflower to a colander to drain; set aside. Return the water to a boil.

Make the sauce
In a large fry pan over medium-low heat, warm 4 Tbs. of the oil. Add the garlic, green onions, ~~marjoram~~ basil and red pepper flakes and sauté until the onions are wilted, about 4 minutes. Stir in the cauliflower, parsley and broth. Raise the heat to medium and cook, stirring constantly, until the cauliflower is lightly colored and the liquid is slightly reduced, about 12 minutes. **I used a potato masher to mash up to cauliflower more

Cook the pasta
Meanwhile, add the pasta to the boiling water and cook, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking, until al dente, according to the package instructions. Drain, reserving about 1/2 cup of the cooking water.

Add the pasta to the sauce and toss to combine. Add as much of the cooking water as needed to loosen the sauce. **I didn't need any

In a small fry pan over medium heat, warm the remaining 4 Tbs. oil. Add the bread crumbs and cook, stirring frequently, until golden, about 2 minutes. Sprinkle the bread crumbs over the pasta and serve. Serves 4.
Adapted from Williams-Sonoma Food Made Fast Series, Pasta, by Julia della Croce (Oxmoor House, 2006).

I was worried this would not be very good. However, everyone liked it; even my son who was sick with no appetite, ate a bit of it.

I had planned for this to be a meatless meal, but my husband asked for some farmer sausage with it. That was fine with me, I only had a little bit of the meat as we had an abundance of wonder organic vegetables.

This turned out to be a wonderful yummy surprise! Worth a try!

Valentine's Day 2012

2012-02-14T19:17:00.000-08:00

My kids were excited to see the hearts hanging in the kitchen when they woke up.

We've all been sick with colds, but I still wanted to make it special for them.

I planned a pink dinner. And didn't worry about getting the veggies in them today.

We really enjoy Panekoek, a dutch pancake that is basically like a crepe.

Mine were not super round, but really, who cares!

So I made them pink and made pink whipping cream and had red strawberries.

It was all so simple and yet it was such a bid deal to my kids.

We finished dinner off with a Kinder surprise egg a special treat.

I'm so glad I did this extra effort for them.

It was wonderful to see how happy and excited they were for dinner all day.

Menu Plan Monday

2012-02-12T07:52:00.000-08:00

Last week I did fairly good with my menu plan.
I did change a few things up, instead of the Pasta Toss, I just made a very yummy spaghetti with italian sausage, I did make the Cheesy Quinoa Patties, but again, I didn't make the Egg Tortilla, once I read the entire post with the instructions, it was just to much work for me that day, so I made my family some fancy omlettes with Egg and Potato and veggies, they loved them.

I'm part of an organic vegetable co-op and this week, I ordered 3 heads of cauliflower. I never buy cauliflower and now I have 3 heads! I'm not sure what I was thinking. However, I had 'pinned' a few cauliflower recipes to try, so I guess I'll make them ALL this week......

MONDAY

meatless

Source: williams-sonoma.com via Tara on Pinterest

Pasta Shells with Cauliflower

Salad

TUESDAY

Valentine's Day

meatless

'Pink' Pannekoek (Dutch Pancake with food coloring)

my family loves pannekoek and I'll set the table with candles

and a some other valentine things

WEDNESDAY

Source: eat-drink-smile.com via Tara on Pinterest

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

with turkey pepperoni and cheese

cut veggies on the side

THURSDAY

TACOS! A family Favorite

with homemade Tortilla Shells

Cut Veggies

FRIDAY

Source: rachaelraymag.com via Tara on Pinterest

Cauliflower Fritters

Farmer Sausage

Salad

SATURDAY

Soup from the freezer

salad

SUNDAY

left overs

Be sure to check out the Organizing Junkie

each Monday morning for more menu planning ideas

Parent Fail

2012-02-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a fail for me.
I've really been struggling with my depression, most days I had no motivation and my house was becoming so terrible it was adding to sense of melancholy. After working thru some of this, I was actually feeling motivated to get to work in my house. I still have my stumbling blocks and I'm by no means thru this, but I'm working on it.
However, with my motivation to get things done, I neglected my girly. My kids fought all day with my girl crying often. This isn't like her, but I was to busy trying to accomplish things to give her the attention she needed. Girly asked me often to cuddle her, my response, ya, just a minute. She doesn't often ask for cuddles so randomly.
I failed to notice she just wasn't 100%. My frustration with the kids put me in a foul mood. I did to much yelling and not enough listening and loving.
I'm so thankful that children are so forgiving. On the way to bring my little guy to his wee college we were listening to the christian radio station and he was trying to sing along. I heard him pick up the word hallelujah in the song and sing it with the song. I made my heart melt. He wanted me to sing with him. My girl fell asleep and I was able to get some running around done. I found it very difficult to shake my mood and was looking forward to bed time.
At the end of the day, it was fail as a good parent day. My girly has a slight cold and my little man was full annoy mode for his sister.
Today, I have no agenda, I've managed to squeeze in a few chores. My kids are still in their PJ's and having popcorn for lunch....today I think I'll score high on the parenting chart....we'll see, I don't really care.

Random Cuteness

2012-02-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Cheesy Quinoa Patties

2012-02-07T21:01:00.000-08:00

I heart Pinterest

there, I've said it

and this is one of my 'pins'

for our meatless meal this week

Cheesy Quinoa Patties with a Roasted Garlic and Lemon Aioli

Ingredients:
2 cups cooked quinoa
2/3 cup grated fontina cheese (I used medium cheddar and Parmesan)
3 tablespoons all purpose flour
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1 egg, lightly beaten (I used 2 eggs)
2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
2 ½ tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
salt to taste

aioli:

½ cup light mayonnaise
1 head of garlic, roasted
1 lemon, zested and juiced
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
1. For the cakes: Place all ingredients, except for the oil, into a mixing bowl and stir together until well combined. Season with salt and allow the mixture to sit for 5 minutes.
2. Pour oil into a large sauté pan and place over medium heat.
3. Form ¼ cup patties with the quinoa mixture and place in the heated sauté pan. (this will have to be done in batches)
4. Cook quinoa cakes for about 5 minutes on each side. Repeat with the remaining patties until all of the cakes have been cooked. Set aside.
5. For the aioli: Place all ingredients into a food processor, season with salt and pepper and blend until smooth. Pour into a small bowl and serve alongside the warm quinoa cakes.

I found these hard to get to stay into patties

my kids didn't even blink, but just ate

my husband really enjoyed them

I actually didn't like them

not sure why

but I was the only one who didn't

I'm really glad I tried them

one thing to make off

on my PIN board

Menu Plan Monday

2012-02-05T20:55:00.000-08:00

I didn't have a plan last week,

but we still did fine overall.

I'm trying a few new things this week

I hope I'm not over shooting for the week!

MONDAY

Lasagna from the freezer

Salad

TUESDAY

Source: spoonforkbacon.com via Tara on Pinterest

These cheesy Quinoa Cakes

Salad

homemade bread

WEDNESDAY

Source: tastingtable.com via Tara on Pinterest

This is an interesting egg and potato dish to try

with Salad

THURSDAY

Source: witanddelight.tumblr.com via Tara on Pinterest

this easy pasta

farmer sausage

FRIDAY

Slow BBQ chicken

BBQ Potatoes

Salad

SATURDAY

Soup from the freezer

cut veggies

homemade buns

SUNDAY

left over Soup

For more menu plan ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

Tortillas Homemade

2012-01-27T19:08:00.000-08:00

We really enjoy Mexican food

the kidlets love beans and rice

and the boy also loves himself a taco

I've been making my own refried beans

and my own mexican rice for sometime now

it is really easy

So I decided to try my hand at homemade tortillas.

I'm addicted to Pinterest

and my homemade tortillas recipe

was found while pinning.

4 ingredients

seriously how simple is that

these were difficult to roll out

but I do think I overworked them

when I made the dough in the morning

the tortillas were a bit thicker then I wanted

they were difficult to roll out by hand

but we actually prefered them over the store bought ones

I used the recipe with all white flour as it was my first time making them

Ursula, our new kitten really wanted in on the dinner

Here you can see my little man as almost cleared his plate

he loved it all

girly, she can not leave Ursula alone

it's a good thing this kitten is patient

she really enjoyed the tortilla

and ended up eating it plain

Dinner was enjoyed by all!

Menu Plan Monday

2012-01-22T22:40:00.000-08:00

MONDAY

Company Over

Lasagna

Pioneer Women's Garlic Cheese Bread

Salad

TUESDAY

Meatless

Curried ChickPeas

Brown Basmati Rice

Naan

Salad

WEDNESDAY

BBQ Steak

Potatoes

Salad

THURSDAY

from the freezer

Chicken Enchiladas

Rice

Cut Veggies

FRIDAY

Homemade Pizza

Cut Veggies

SATURDAY

From the freezer

Corn Chowder

Salad

SUNDAY

Breakfast for Dinner

For many many more menu ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

A Sparrow's visit

2012-01-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

I've done some research and our little visitor from the other day, as close as I can figure, is some sort of sparrow. The closest I found was a Gold Crown Sparrow.

He flew into our front bay window. I called my husband to come and get him from out of the snow.

I'm a sucker for any animal, as long as it's not dead...then I don't deal with it.

We brought him, named 'rumble' by my son, a transformer name FYI, into the house to assess the damage. I couldn't find anything broken.

Rumble seemed fine.

In fact, he sat all cozy on my touque and preened himself.

Rumble checked us out and preened some more.

He was so calm.

Rumble even let my girly pet him and I pet him.

And all the while he just sat and preened.

Rumble finished his preening and decided to check us out for a bit.

He looked and looked.

Not once seeming skittish or scared.

Just curious.

I was amazed.

For many reasons.

The night before my little man and I had just read a devotion based on Luke 12:7 - Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

We hung a bird feeder outside our kitchen window some weeks ago.

I love watching the birds.

The kids and I often talk about all the different birds, many of them sparrows.

I love how God uses unexpected things to show His love for us.

After checking us out, Rumble casually, jumped off the touque and flew to my shoulder where he perched for a minute.

Again, I was amazed.

Then he decided to fly to the window to go out.

I picked him up and he sat so nice in my hand and was happy to sit there even as I opened the window to let him fly out.

He had no intention of leaving.

He sat for sometime on my hand, observing.

I brought him back in, stroked him a bit.

Then figured he was ready. He had other plans. He just sat on my fingers.

Finally a gust of wind knocked him off balance a bit and he decided to head to the safety of the bush.

What a great experience to share with my kids.

And an amazing experience for me to be reminded how much God loves us.

Snow Day

2012-01-17T11:28:00.000-08:00

Here in the Valley we don't get to many snowy days where the snow sticks around. Often it's just to wet and soggy to play in it. According to the weather man we can expect a few more days like this, then as per normal we will have rain. I'm happy to not have to head out onto the roads.

Menu Plan Monday

2012-01-16T07:29:00.000-08:00

Wow, the snow is coming down! The weather man has said our valley is going to be hit hard today and more this week. I'm not a huge fan of snow. Our snow is usually heavy and wet and now super fun to play in. But we don't have to go out today so we can just stay home and let the kids enjoy the snow.

Also God is really teaching us with our finances. One income is hard, but we are learning. My challenge is to save on groceries and so for the last few weeks I've only been buying perishables and my cupboards are getting a bit more empty.

I was able to hit everything on my menu plan last week so that was great and this week should be a good one to.

MONDAY

homemade pizza

with salad

TUESDAY

I have a large batch cooking day

with ladies at the church beside my house

so we'll have a meal from the cook day

not sure what yet,

but they are always fantastic meals

served with salad

WEDNESDAY

Tacos

my kids just love them and really

so do the big kids

veggies

THURSDAY

BBQ Chicken and rice

salad

FRIDAY

homemade turkey burgers

salad

SATURDAY

veggie and bean soup of some sort

served with crackers and cut veg

SUNDAY

breakfast for dinner

for more menu planning ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

We all need Grace

2012-01-11T12:41:00.000-08:00

I've been married for barely over 8 years now of my 36 years. I'm still in the baby stages compared to some people of marriage. This has been some of the hardest 8 years I have ever had. Just when you think you have it figured out, the rules change. There is no reason why, things happen and the old rule book is tossed out the window.
My husband and I will both tell you it's by the grace of God that we stayed married our first year. There were many times when we both wanted to leave the other. It was tough. That adjustment. Let's be honest, it's still tough, and then you throw kids into the mix. It's hard.   I find people are mostly understanding that marriage is a lifetime of learning and understanding the other person in your life.
People often give grace for circumstances. And we make allowances for people because we know they are in a new learning curve. It could be marriage, kids, a new job, a diagnosis to deal with.
I am finding however, the grace period for losing the love of your life, your children's father, the person you planned your life with, is different. I think it's because maybe it scares people. They don't want to be confronted with one of their worst fears. They want the person to just 'get over it' and 'move on'. They do not what to be reminded it could happen to them. They just want to ignore it, maybe then it's not true.
My sister was married for 20 years and 18 days until her husband was tragically killed in an accident.
There is not one person on earth, other then my sister, who can ever know how hard she fought for her marriage. She went through so much in her marriage. She is honestly one of the strongest people I know. And being her sister I know a lot of what she went thru for her marriage. I'm not sure too many have fought that hard.
She married young, 18, had a baby at 19 and married someone who still wanted to party and not raise a family. But she fought and fought hard. Their house burnt down on a canada day, while they were camping. She was pregnant, very pregnant, in fact she had her baby 11 days later....with NOTHING, really NOTHING, they lost everything in the fire and they had to endure being accused of arranging it. And still they fought on. They had to endure so much in their marriage, not any more or less then others. But it was a lot and people were often amazed to hear they were still married, knowing part of their history. Most that is not worth digging up on the blog.
After working so hard for 20 years in her marriage, it was suddenly and so unexpectedly gone. No warning. My sister came home from grocery shopping for a pool party that her husband had just talked to her about having the next day not even 4 hours earlier to find the police waiting for her.
Everyone's worst nightmare come true for her.
So after fighting for her marriage for 20 years, not even 5 months after Darren's tragic death and people are accusing her of not moving on. Asking why she's not back at work. These people have not had to deal with a death I think.   She is still trying to finish off Darren's business. Almost everyday she gets a phone call where she has to again tell someone again that Darren died and to hear their condolences. She has to talk to the coroner and again explain who she is and find out why the autopsy report is not done. Almost 5 months later and things are still not 'wrapped up'.
She was married more of her life then she wasn't.   And in 5 months she is supposed to have forgotten that and be able to move on without grief in her ever step. When everything she has to do or look at is from her life with Darren.    Why hasn't she moved on...think about it. Extend some grace. She has lost something she spent 20 years fighting for.
I'd like to see how easy it would be for you to 'move on' and 'get over it'.
I think we can all extend a little more grace.

Menu Plan Monday

2012-01-09T06:58:00.000-08:00

Last week I didn't really consider

what I had in my house when

I made up my menu plan

I don't recommend doing this

I did however manage to

still make meals,

just not the ones I had written down

this week, I've been more intentional

my goal is to only have to shop for perishables

MONDAY

Bean and Rice Tacos

Salad

TUESDAY

Chicken Tetrizzini

(from the freezer)

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Chicken Burgers

Salad

THURSDAY

Sweet and Sour Ham Steaks

(from the freezer)

Rice

Salad

FRIDAY

Company coming

Spaghetti

Meat Sauce

Salad

SATURDAY

Farmers Soup

(from the freezer)

SUNDAY

Breakfast for Dinner

This meal plan is much more realistic for me this week

my grocery list is for vegetables and fruit

I hope to stock up on ground turkey

as Neufelds has a good sale on

for more menu planning ideas

head over to

The Organizing Junkie

Happy New Year

2012-01-03T21:21:00.000-08:00

To say this has been a difficult season is an understatement. We begin the new year with holes in our lives. I miss my brother in law more then I thought I would. We also tragically lost an aunt (my dad's sister in law) and we lost my amazing grandma at the age of 92 (my dad's mom).
Everyone in my family is tired. Emotions are high. Even after more than 4 months it's hard to believe that Darren is gone. I still think it's a bad dream a lot of the time. We are all just spent.
Most every time I leave my house I'm asked by people how my sister and her kids are doing. I never know how to answer this. There is so much intricately involved in losing the love of your life the father of your children. It's far from over after the funeral is done. Darren had all is paperwork in order and yet things are still moving slow to be finished up in that area. Frankly there is just to much to go into detail in regards to the death paperwork, but it will be some time before things are finished.
I asked my sister what she wanted me to tell people on how she was doing. She said to just tell them that she is waking up each day and breathing. Right now, that is a difficult job. I can tell that slowly she is taking small steps, so small she might not even realize it herself. Now it's easier to hold a conversation with her; her memory is a bit better and other things that are hard to put words to. She is still broken, how could she not be, as are her kids.
We had our family Christmas at her house and the hole that Darren left was noticeable. We had more tears and more prayers. But we also did laugh and enjoy our family time. It will never be the same.
We have no choice but to move forward because the days will not stop coming.
As you move forward into this year, make a resolution to let your family know how much you love them each day. Go out of your way to say I love you and do special things for your loved ones. Spend time together, choose family time, not TV time. My sister is forever grateful that 5 minutes before Darren was killed he told her that he loved her. He didn't know he was going to be hit by a car and die instantly when he started back out on his ride, but he knew he loved my sister and he told her, just because. Wouldn't you want your loved to have those last words from you?

First Menu Plan of 2012

2012-01-01T19:25:00.000-08:00

So one thing I want to change this year...

how we eat

My family eats well and we eat fairly clean

I try to limit processed foods

and use lots of vegetables

I just want to keep working on this with my family

and work towards a more Whole Foods eating style

This week for my family

Breakfast choices

Green smoothies with Raw Almonds

Oatmeal

Sprouted Grain Toast with PB&J

Eggs

Lunch Ideas

Left Overs

Tuna Salad on Sprouted Grain Toast or wraps

Egg Salad on Sprouted Grain Toast or wraps

PB&J wraps

Cut Veggies

MONDAY - meatless

Pinto Bean and Rice Wraps

Salad

TUESDAY

Chicken Tettrazinni from the freezer

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Kale, White Bean and Sausage Soup

Cut Veggies

THURSDAY

BBQ Chicken

Rice

Salad

FRIDAY

Homemade Burgers

Salad

So I'll see how we managed this first week of the new year

for more menu planning ideas be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

Advent Countdown

2011-12-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

We have been busy with our Advent countdowns.

We delivered food to the SPCA for the cats,

wrote a thankful list,

went to a magic show, which the kids loved.

Here the kids are getting ready for another activity.

This day we read the story of the angel visiting Mary.

The kids snuggled down in some blankets,

we had the Christmas lights plugged in on the tree

the room was dim (I just couldn't figure out how to take the picture to show that)

and we read the story

then sang some Christmas songs

The kids loved it

and we had fun!

To update you on the bird food craft,

I used peanut butter to get the seeds to stick

I forgot to mention that step!

It took the birds a day to figure out they were hanging in the tree

I was nervous how they would stay with the rain we had

but they were fantastic

they held up well

now they are empty so I've just been spreading the seed on our trampoline

we have a number of birds now so I didn't want to disappoint them

I really enjoy watching them each day

Menu Plan Monday

2011-12-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

Ugh, I'm still full from yesterday.

I had my immediate family Christmas

and we had a good time.

My kids are busy playing with their new toys

It's wonderful!

MONDAY

BBQ Meatballs

Rice

Salad

TUESDAY

Left over Roast

Potatoes

Salad

WEDNESDAY

The mystery meal from last week

we never go to it this last week

Salad

THURSDAY

BBQ Chicken

BBQ Potatoes

Salad

FRIDAY

Black Bean Soup from the freezer

Cut Veggies

SATURDAY

I am possibly having my husband's family for dinner

for our Christmas

Turkey

Potatoes

Salad

SUNDAY *CHRISTMAS*

My extended family christmas

I have to bring buns

Have a fantastic Christmas!

For more menu planning ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

Advent Countdown

2011-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

We've had a some more fun things going on with our Advent countdown.

I actually got this idea from Printerest.

The kids loved it.

I saved some cardboard tubes.

Filled some paper plates with bird seed.

Attached some string to the cardboard tubes so they could hang from the trees

We rolled the tubes on the paper plates, making sure they were nice and covered with the bird seed,

then we hung them from a tree out our window so we could watch

today the birds discovered them and enjoyed.

The kids really enjoyed this craft.

It was a mess to do.

Next time I would use a deep cake pan for the tubes instead of plates

and make sure the tubes stay in the cake pan as you transport them outside.

Even with the mess, this was really very fun to do with the kids.

Some other things we have done,

ordered a pizza and ate dinner around the Christmas Tree

and we put up some lights on the house.

We don't normally do outdoor lights

but this little string is for the kids to enjoy

and they enjoy it they do!

Menu Plan Monday

2011-12-11T17:53:00.000-08:00

On to a new week...

MONDAY

Baked Potato soup

Cut Veggies

TUESDAY

Chicken Tetrrezini

cut veggies

WEDNESDAY

Spaghetti

Salad

THURSDAY

Mystery Meal from the freezer

we are not sure what it is....

Salad

FRIDAY

Dad's Chili

Cut veggies

SATURDAY

Hubby's work dinner

Kids will have eggs

SUNDAY

My family Christmas

As always be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

for many more menu ideas

Fun Advent Countdown

2011-12-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

This one was fun, the kids LOVED it.

I wasn't sure how it would go over

before we could find out what

our countdown task was today

we had a little repair work to do

from an over eager girly

who found a pair of scissors

with that done

we discovered our advent countdown task

was to dance around to Christmas music

my ketchup faced boy was excited

I discovered I didn't have any dance worthy Christmas music

so we put in some Santana and had a riot

Not only dancing

but some floor swimming

some flying lifts

some more crazy dancing with Daddy

and of course

no dance session is complete

without the floor sweeping part

and Daddy found a way

to sweep with two kids at once

and here is our left leaning tree

the kids are totally enjoying the tree

and therefore I enjoy it also

Giving Advent Countdown

2011-12-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

One of our giving tasks for the Advent countdown was to also give a little gift to people who do things for us and are often over looked.

We wrapped up some chocolates, wrote a little note and bible verse

.......and waited

and goofed around

and waited some more in the cold,

we didn't want to miss him,

he only comes every two weeks,

not every week like in most places

finally he arrived, our 'garbage man'

we saw the curious look on his as he rounded the corner

then a great big smile as we presented our gifts

the dog was just as excited

so the kids had to get around the dog to give their gifts

it was super fun to see his surprise and thankfulness

we are having a lot of fun with our countdown

Sorta Wordless Wednesday - look what I found

2011-12-07T06:54:00.000-08:00

Someone quietly got out of bed and found someplace else to sleep, unknown to me.

I don't know how long she was here sleeping.

I can't say it looks comfy, but she was totally out.

Advent Countdown

2011-12-06T07:29:00.000-08:00

My kids are excited each morning to cut their advent chain and see what it says for the day. So far we did snowflakes, made cookies, put up the Christmas tree and yesterday we visited our favorite place to get groceries.

We headed out to Neufeld's, where I do most of my shopping. A local meat and produce store just down the road from me. I love shopping there for the quality and they support local products as much as they can, but also for the wonderful staff who always greet me with a smile and remember my name. They always take the time to stop and see how my family is doing.

So to say thank you for such a wonderful place to shop we stopped in and delivered some goodies.

It was so fun to see the surprise on their faces and the joy to see our kids bring them their gifts. My kids were so cute about delivering the snacks.

Neufeld's at Christmas time also has a treat for their customers, they have cookies and hot apple cider. My kids gladly partook in the yummy treats.

We grabbed a few groceries while were there of course. It finished my shopping for the week.

We headed home. It was pretty chilly out, but my kids still had fun doing some jumping on the trampoline.

Our advent countdown is turning out to be a lot of fun!

Menu Plan Monday

2011-12-05T06:57:00.000-08:00

Last week I didn't stick to great to my menu plan,

So I've carried over some of the things from last week

MONDAY

Ham Steaks

Brown Rice

Salad

TUESDAY

Chicken Fajitas

Mexican Rice

home made Re fried Beans

WEDNESDAY (meatless)

Spaghetti Squash

Roast Veggie

Homemade Tomato Sauce (from the freezer)

Salad

THURSDAY

Garlic Lime Chicken

Roasted Potatoes

Salad

FRIDAY

Chicken Tetrizzini (from freezer)

Salad

SATURDAY

Mexican Turkey Chili

cut veggies

SUNDAY

left overs

or simple dinner

Nothing to exciting this week

for more menu planning ideas and inspiration

be sure to check out The Organizing Junkie

Christmas countdown

2011-12-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

This year I decided to try an advent calendar for the kids.

However, we don't celebrate santa and we don't pretend about santa.

Christmas for us is about Christ's birth. That is what we celebrate.

I'm one of those mom's who does not like to give my kids candy or small toys. So I was at a bit of a loss, I posted a plea on facebook. My friends came thru and gave me great suggestions.

I decided to make the advent calendar easy and easily doable. These had to be things that I could do with the kids that didn't cost to much money and did not focus on 'getting'

I made two paperchains,

my kids, I knew would not share

My kids can't read yet, so to make it even easier for me, I just wrote the date in each chain-link.

Then I printed out my advent list and posted it between the chains

December 1,

each kid cut their chain-link and our special countdown task today...

cut out snowflakes and start to memorize a bible verse for the Christmas season.

I used coffee filters so that it would be easier for my little ones to cut.

The kids still are not super fantastic with scissors, so I ended up doing most of the cutting,

letting the kids unfold them. They thought that was just as great.

November Things

2011-12-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe it's December today.

I'm sure you noticed that I have been absent from blog land.

With the tragic death of my brother in law that we are all still very much in grief over, we also unexpectantly lost an aunt, as well as my Grandma in the last 3 months.

This only added to the depth of grief we are already living in.

It's been just over 3 months since the death of Darren, but it's unbelievably fresh still.

Unreal.

This will take a very long time to not feel such pain and anguish over the loss.

Life continues and so we must keep going. There is never a time where Darren's death is not on my mind. It is always there, always. Maybe not right in the fore front, but in the shadows, lurking, waiting to pounce and therefore I am always aware of it's presence.

November flew by. And we had snow, it was as is most common in the ~~wet~~ west coast, gone quickly.

It hung around just long enough for the kids to have some fun.

You can see by these pictures that it really was almost gone,

but the kids still had fun for the short time outside.

My man, just loves to make faces right now for the camera

And girly, she just looks cute or silly, I'm not too sure

I have some more pictures loaded and I hope to share with you our Christmas countdown. The kids are super excited about it. So I will be working on some upcoming posts...stay tuned

Menu Plan Monday

2011-11-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

I realize I didn't post my menu plan last week

it was simple

I don't remember what it was anymore

On to this week

my goal as always to is only buy produce

along with milk and this week we are out of cheese

I think it will be an easy shopping week

MONDAY

Homemade beef burgers

Salad

TUESDAY

Sweet and Sour Chicken (from freezer)

Rice (already cooked)

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Cannelloni (from freezer)

Salad

THURSDAY

Garlic-Lime Chicken

Roasted Potatoes

Salad

FRIDAY

Whole Wheat Spaghetti

with homemade freezer sauce

Sausages on the side

Salad

SATURDAY

Mexican Turkey Chili (from freezer)

Cut Veggies

SUNDAY

left overs

or something simple

like toast with PB&J

I have a few things this week to make

We'll see if I have the energy

for many more menu plan ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

every Monday

Menu Plan Monday

2011-11-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

Off and on over the last few years I've participated in a Once a Month Cooking Day at the church by my house. It's fantastic to fill your freezer in a day with a bunch of meals. My freezer is F U L L. I've done 3 of these cooks in the last few months. Not only does it totally save us money, but it makes meals easy.

This week I am only doing my freezer meals as I have so many of them!

I'll just add Salad and a side if needed.

MONDAY

Turkey Chili

Cut Veggies

TUESDAY

Ham Steaks

Bean Bake

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Baked Ziti with Sausage

Salad

THURSDAY

Left Overs

Salad

FRIDAY

Black Bean Soup

Cut Veggies

SATURDAY

Sweet and Sour Chicken

Brown Basmati Rice

Salad

SUNDAY

Left Overs

Salad

I'm looking forward to an easy cooking week.

For more menu planning ideas be sure to check out The Organizing Junkie

Blue in the Face

2011-11-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

It is so sweet to hear your kids play nice together.

They were in the book corner and talking so nice and playing.

OR so I thought

I should know better by now

Enter Blue Permanent Marker

I think the pictures can finish the story

Menu Plan Monday

2011-11-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Well, off onto another week.

I didn't do to well with my menu plan last week

and it's been a rough morning with my kidlets

I've kept it somewhat simple this week

MONDAY

Roast Chicken (from costco)

Rice and Salad

TUESDAY

Curried Chickpeas and Cauliflower

Rice and Salad

WEDNESDAY

Chicken Soup

Cut Veggies

Crackers

THURSDAY

Spaghetti Squash

with sauce from the freezer

Roast Veggies

Salad

FRIDAY

Baked Beans from the freezer

Salad

SATURDAY

Grilled Cheese

Tomato Soup

Cut Veggies

SUNDAY

Leftover Chicken Soup

Cut Veggies

Crackers

Pretty easy this week

for more menu planning ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

An Update of Sorts

2011-11-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

Each night I sit and think I should be doing some blogging. Frankly, I'm uninspired. We have been busy. But grief is still overshadowing much of our life.
I have never lost a close family member before. I didn't understand what grief was and now, I understand a portion of it. The portion of a person who is affected, but not affected like my sister and her family. I can still walk away and try to pretend. It still it just doesn't seem real at all, but it is. There is so much involved when someone dies. More then I ever would have thought.
I had a total grief day on Sunday. My sister is using her husband's cell phone number in order to wrap up his business dealings and her number is on hold now. Previous I would call her cell phone and have her call me back as it's long distance to call her house number for me, but not long distance for her to call my house (I don't get that either). So I dialed the cell phone, I got the answering machine, it was my brother in law's voice. I almost fell to the floor. I did not expect to hear him, he's been gone for 11 weeks. The rest of the day I was done. My grief was immense.
I can not see how life will be. I don't think any of us can see past the wall of grief right now. My sister is functioning, sorta. I'm asked almost each day how she's doing. I never know what to say. She's not doing, she's in survival mode. I've been told she'll 'get over it'. This statement makes me see red. She will never get over it, she will learn to live with it, but never will she get over losing her husband, the father to her 4 kids. Other people give me the look like she should be moving on. If you put 1000 widows in a room, not one of them will have the same experience of grief. There is no manual of when you should move past your grief and a checklist of next steps. Each person is so individual as is their grief. But again, most of these people who have made these types of comments have not had to deal with a loss so great.
We move forward. What that means, who knows. We pray and cry to God. Our family is forever changed. I don't think any of the adults are looking forward to Christmas this year, it will be very difficult. But it will come as will all the other 'firsts'. We are not able to stop them, the days pass and the year moves forward. And no matter how hard we try we can not turn it back to August 20th and change the outcome. We celebrate that Darren is in heaven, or at least we try to, if I'm honest. It's not always easy.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-31T07:37:00.000-07:00

This week,

I am completely

making this up as I type

MONDAY

Turkey Tacos

Salad

TUESDAY

Canelloni (from the freezer)

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Taco soup (from the freezer)

Salad

THURSDAY

Baked Salmon

Quinoa

Salad

FRIDAY

Chickpea and Cauliflower curry

Brown Rice

Salad

SATURDAY

Cheesy Chicken (from the freezer)

Brown Rice

Salad

SUNDAY

left overs

or eggs and toast

An easy week

I'm looking forward to it

my groceries will be produce only

so that will be nice

for more menu planning ideas

check out The Organizing Junkie

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

I made up my menu last week.

But I never did get it posted.

I'm trying something different,

I'm trying the cash system

for buying groceries

so far so good

On to this week

MONDAY

Spaghetti Squash with Roast Veggies

Homemade Spaghetti Sauce with ground beef

Salad

TUESDAY

Homemade Chicken soup

Cut Veggies

Cheese and Crackers

WEDNESDAY

Black Bean and Brown Rice Burritos

served with lettuce, tomatoes and pepper

Salad

THURSDAY

Cheesy Chicken from the freezer

Left over Brown Rice

Salad

FRIDAY

Chicken Tetrezzini from the freezer

Salad

SATURDAY

Pita Pizzas

Salad

SUNDAY

Lasagna from the freezer

Salad

Our lunches tend to be toast for the kids or leftovers and I have been having salad with some chicken on it.

Breakfast is often green smoothies, steelcut oats, cereal and I often have an egg white scramble.

For more menu planning ideas and tips

be sure to check out the Organizing Junkie

FlashBack Friday - Kalamalaka Lake

2011-10-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

I'm borrowing this idea from my friend Karina.

With all that we have going on in life right now, I haven't been posting much. As a result I have a lot of pictures hanging out on my computer.

So here is a 'flashback' of our 2011 Summer.

In August we went camping with some friends from our bible study group. This was going to be the first time we actually camped with out any hookups. Thankfully our friends are veterans at this so they helped us out.

We headed out on a 5ish hour drive. I planned little surprises for my kids and borrowed some kids books on CD and also borrowed a portable DVD player. I was very nervous as we have never taken our kids on this long of a trip before.

They did great considering our CD player didn't work and to top it of the DVD player didn't work either.

I was very proud of them.

We stayed at a provincial park and the lake was amazing, cold, but beautiful. The small beach at our camp ground was all rock, but the kids loved it.

My kids loved the beach.

They boated

They spent time trying to catch little minnows

They explored the water

Boated some more

acted silly

After a few days at the beach by our camp ground, we decided to see if we could find a sandy beach rather then the rocky beach. We found the main public beach. And the kids loved it even more. My little man would go in the water then lay randomly in the sand, roll around and just lay there. He entertained many people as he would just lay anywhere, even beside people we didn't know.

Girly loved loved loved the beach. She spend hours just digging and enjoying the sand. She would just go and play with random kids if they looked like they had a good sandcastle happening

In the end we managed to camp great without hookups. We really enjoyed it. It was very hot during the day, but cooled down at night. We had a fantastic time with friends and we hope to be able to do this again.

Sadly, this trip was cut short as we headed home early to be with my family.

But as were are winterizing our trailer we are already dreaming about our camping trips for next summer.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

We've had a busy time

I'm doing a challenge

this week,

no white grains

It's turning into a bigger challenge

that I thought it would be!

MONDAY

Thanksgiving Dinner

YUM YUM

TUESDAY

Baked Beans from the freezer

with ground beef

Brown Rice

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Baked Chicken with spices

Quiona

Roasted Veggies

Salad

THURSDAY

Whole Wheat Spaghetti

Homemade Pasta Sauce

Salad

FRIDAY

Black Bean and Brown Rice wraps

Salad

SATURDAY

Chicken Soup

Salad

SUNDAY

Leftovers

For more menu planning ideas

be sure to check out

The Organizing Junkie

Menu Plan Monday

2011-10-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

Let's get right to it

MONDAY
Chicken Stirfry

Brown Rice

Salad

TUESDAY

Taco Soup from the freezer

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Lasagna

Salad

THURSDAY

Baked Beans from the Freezer

Spagetti Squash

Salad

FRIDAY

Cheesy Chicken from the Freezer

Brown Rice

Salad

SATURDAY

Left overs

SUNDAY

Sandwiches

Salad

I'm hoping to make a nice big pot of soup for our lunches as I always have trouble coming up with lunch ideas. And our breakfasts we normally have green smoothies and the kids sometimes have toast or cereal.

For many more menu ideas be sure to check out the Organizing Junkie every Monday.

Green Smoothies

2011-10-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true.

Most mornings we have green smoothies.

My kids love them, but they have no clue they come in any other color.

I use any fruit I have on hand

apples, oranges, peaches, nectarines, bananas

I add 2 tablespoons of ground flax

about 5 tablespoons of plain greek yogurt

1/2 cup of green tea

about an inch of peeled ginger

6 or more cups of baby spinach

I usually have raw almonds on the side.

So so good!

Give it a try.

I plan to try Kale in mine next.

Fun at the Apple Farm

2011-09-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

We needed out.

I called my friend.

We picked apples.

The kids played.

Everyone was happy.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-09-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

I am really enjoying these meals in my freezer. My brain and motivation are both on the low side so the ease of freezer meals is fantastic!

I have another cook day this Tuesday so I will have a freezer full!

Here is what my week will look like:

MONDAY

Birthday dinner for my husband

with my inlaws

Ham

Potatoes

Salad

TUESDAY

I have the cook day

Taco Soup

made at the cook day

WEDNESDAY

Left overs

THURSDAY

Meat loaf from the freezer

Rice

Salad

FRIDAY

Chicken Stir Fry

Rice

Salad

SATURDAY

Spaghetti

Salad

SUNDAY

Left overs

Very easy menu plan and very little shopping needed. Just how I like it!

For many more menu plan ideas be sure to check out The Organizing Junkie.

What's going on

2011-09-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

I've been home bound. For a few reasons. Life keeps going and so do we. I've been staying home more because if I go out I spend money. Living on one income has hit us hard and I'm having a hard time adjusting. But God is continuously proving to me that we are where he wants us. He has provided for us in areas I never expected. We are always trying to decide if we should sell our house or not. It's been a huge stress on me. To move would mean a bit of a down grade. I'm okay with that. But is it the right thing? Today I had a wonderful lady come and visit. She prayed over me and prayed words from God. If we are to sell, she prayed that we would be approached by someone who wants to buy and we will get the price we need. It seems a bit impossible. However, we had someone approach us before out of the blue to purchase our house. And our God is great, so that is simple. A weight was lifted off me. I will continue to pray for this. If no one comes to us, we do not sell. Simple. Trust, not simple.
I've been staying home also because I'm dealing with grief still. I have been struggling with the death of my brother in law. I've been struggling with how to support my sister. It hurts me so bad to not know what to do for her. After meeting with my mentor, she suggested, and I agree; that I need to focus on healing and dealing with my own grief. Then when my sister does need me and she's ready for my help, I can 100% be there for her and not compromise my own health or mental state. Still I miss her. I miss my friend, I miss my sister, I miss the aunt to my kids. But the time will come when I can be there for her. Right now, my kids are to much for her, so it's just better I stay away. She has so much to deal with, the extra noise that comes with me is not helpful. So for now, I pray for her and the kids, check in with her and pray some more.

Another reason....potty training. I am done 2 days of potty training my little girly.

She is stubborn. But she is ready. She has no problem with the potty, does her business when ever I ask her. But I have to be sure to ask her. If I don't then like today, we have many accidents.

I waited until my little man was ready and asked for the potty. It took 2 days. This girl is gonna be a little harder. But I'm not going to waste the 2 days I've spent on this. I will keep at it. I have confidence it will kick in and things will be smooth sailing. It's just been a hard day with all the stresses.
Life goes on, and so do we. As much as we don't always want to.

My GPS is against me

2011-09-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take my kids to the beach and the forecast was for another hot day. The kids love the sand and I wanted to show them all the baby crabs and other fun things to explore. So we planned a day for the family. I posted on facebook that we wanted to go to Crescent Beach but we didn't know how to get there. People suggested directions and alternate areas to check out. The night before we talked about it and decided maybe we shouldn't go. We have so much to do around our house and we could just go the local lake that has a nice sandy beach and it's 5 minutes away instead of 45 minutes away.

In the end we decided to go.

It was not easy to get there.

We decided to check out a place call 1000 steps first, we were told there were not a 1000 steps. So I thought maybe it was something to do with the rock face as to why it was called 1000 steps.

I was wrong.

There were steps, LOTS of steps.

We started down and passed a few people coming up, with red faces and short of breath. We turned around and went back up the 20 steps we had gone down. We both knew that the kids would go down no problem, but coming back up, that would be a problem.

I forgot to mention the fact that it was stinkin cold still at 11 am.

We buckled back up and headed to Cresent Beach. But we got lost. We saw beautiful property and houses. I finally got out my GPS and put in Cresent Beach. It came up with the Cresent Beach Bistro, close enough. However, the GPS navigated us thru all the small little back streets of White Rock to get us to Cresent Beach. We saw more beautiful property.

Finally we get there.

It's still cold.

My kids are freaked out of the crabs and running away.

Everyone is complaining they are cold.

We walked farther out onto the beach but we were just to cold and hungry.

At this point we were all cranky.

We got back into our truck and headed to a beach a at the other end of the road. It was much warmer there, less wind. We sat on the beach, had lunch and the kids had fun.

It was finally time to enjoy the beach.

The kids had so much fun.

I just love this picture of my little man.

My girly, she just loves to dig in the sand. She would be happy all day if we just let her dig away.

I just love it when my kidlets play nice together. Sometimes it doesn't seem to happen to often.

It makes my heart smile when they do.

After a rough start we enjoyed some time in the sand. But it wasn't going to last long. My little man was playing in a large hole that someone else dug. He jumped in and landed on his knees, directly on a large pointy piece of drift wood. He was in a fair amount of pain.

So we packed up, my little man in tears and headed out.

We decided to not use the GPS to navigate for us. I used the map on the GPS and found a direct route back rather then all the back roads our GPS seemed to think we wanted to explore.

The drive home, my little man cried almost the entire way. He stopped crying 10 minutes from our house, when he fell asleep.

Lovely.

It was a tough start, a great middle and tough ending.

My kids did have fun and at dinner time when we asked what their favorite part of the day was they both had great things to say about the beach time.

My partner in crime and I survived........this time at least.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-09-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

Last week was a sucsess for me. At least in the fact that we didn't eat out once. This is huge for me. Not even a lunch or a coffee. Things changed up, but it was fine and I made the adjustments. Sunday was such a hot day here we just had popcorn and oranges for dinner.

No one was in much of a mood to eat so it went over well.

It should be cooling off a bit this week thankfully.

So I hope we can all function a bit better in the cooler weather.

Here is my plan this week

MONDAY

Soup from the freezer

Cut Veggies

TUESDAY

Some sort of hamburger and macaroni bake

Salad

WEDNESDAY

Cheesy Chicken from the freezer

Rice

Salad

THURSDAY

Left Overs

Salad

FRIDAY

Homemade Pizza

Salad

SATURDAY

Grilled Cheese

Tomato Soup

Cut Veggies

SUNDAY

Breakfast for Dinner

For more menu planning ideas be sure to check out the Organizing Junkie

On the Sidelines

2011-09-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

It drives me crazy when my boy asks me the same question over and over. I get frustrated and angry. I gave my answer, but yet, he's not satisifed. I know he doesn't like the answer, it's not what he wanted. But he has to live with it. It's very rare if I change my mind after I've given an answer. Yet, he will ask and ask and ask. Resorting to tears of anger and frustration. Not understanding my answer when he clearly thinks he has the correct answer.
I feel like my son right now. I keep asking God why, I know full well I won't get the answer, not yet, Darren will not come back. Yet, each night as I lay down, the overwhelming feelings that I have been able to set a bit to the side of my day to day doing come back with a vengence. I cry tears of anger, tears of frustration and tears of ultimate sadness that I have never had to experience before. Going to bed is not something I look forward to. My mind finally has nothing in front of it to occupy it, so my thoughts that have all day been lingering on the sadness of loss, no longer linger on the sidelines. They are the main event. The sadness takes center stage. Sleep it does not come easy and when sleep comes, the dreams come with it. Often they are centered around sadness or the accident.
I am constantly tired. I am emotionally drained. I am mostly sad. I am not even center stage to this event of death and grief, I am directly on the sidelines. My sister and kids are center stage. So if this is how I am feeling, my brain can not comprehend what they are feeling. My daily dealings are hard to manage, my sister I can see why things are how they are right now at her house.
I can't see the script, I don't know when the show ends. It will be a life long journey, this I know. I try to remind myself of the years we had with Darren, of the good. It's hard.
I have a picture of Darren on my fridge, yesterday when I looked at it, I had piercing anger. Anger I have never felt, it was instant and it was hot. Why did my sister have to go thru so many years of crap to achieve the goodness and then it's gone. I was so incredibly angry at Darren. I know my anger is not justified. He didn't choose to die. I can certainly see how God has things in place for my family to be able to step in for my sister in areas that needed. Not that, that makes me any less angry.
I try to live my daily life. I call my oldest sister to chat, and find out she is dealing with all the same things as I am. It's nice to know we can talk to each other, share grief. It doesn't make it easier, but it does let me know I'm normal for my feelings.
This is where we are right now. trying to live a life that is consumed by grief, sadness and looking for the joy and peace.

Wordless Wednesday - Because we need to smile

2011-09-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

Grief

2011-09-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I expected. But the grief is overwhelming at times. I don't grieve for Darren, in fact I'm very jealous of him, he's in Heaven rocking it with Jesus, no worries, no pain. We are left here to grieve what was and what will not be.
I grieve for my sister. The overwhelming sadness she faces as she tackles all the jobs Darren did. All the things you take for granted that your spouse does. The simple things like taking out the garbage and making sure the garbage cans get put back. Fixing the plugged garberator, somehow Darren could always get it unplugged and working with no problem.

I grieve for my sister, she is empty right now. I grieve for my relationship with her, I miss her. I miss the phone calls back and forth everyday, my house is so quiet now with out her calling.
Most days I'm okay, but this weekend was extremely difficult for me. I wanted to spend it in bed crying. The grief was to much. I dreaded going to church. I didn't want to face the condolences. I appreciate that people are sad for us. But there are no words to say, there really isn't. This completely and totally sucks.
I can't explain how terrible it is for my sister to be without the love of her life, her husband, her best friend, the father to her kids. For the kids to be without their dad, there are no words.
My thoughts are consumed with my sister and family. My dreams are reruns of what I think happened at the accident. Each day my primary thoughts are of my sister and her family and what they are dealing with. My head feels like a fog. Trying to think of what to feed my kids at times is so difficult, trying to accomplish things around my own house at times seems insurmountable.

I'm so grateful for the friends who have dropped off meals, not just dinner, but things for breakfast also. It has been so helpful as at times my brain just really isn't working well. All this is from grief. I just didn't expect it to be like this.
I spend a lot of time in prayer. I don't expect to understand the why's. I'm praying for peace and comfort. I'm praying for a clear mind, for a way to deal with the grief and sadness. I pray for strength for all of us. I pray for my sister and the kids. I pray thanksgiving for my husband. I thank God for the 20 years that we did have with Darren. I praise God for the changes and work he did in Darren to make him a better husband and father. Overall I pray that we all learn to live and function and to continue to love each other.

This blog my be all over the place. It may not make sense. It by no means is to elicit pity. It is to try to explain the grief.
The pictures are from Darren's funeral. His memorial table and each of his kids.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-09-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

With all that we have going on. I need to get back to a menu plan. My days run together right now and my mind is in a fog it seems. So I had to sit down and make a simple plan. I expect it to change but at least I have a plan and don't have to think about what to cook, it's already thought of.

Monday

We have been invited out

Tuesday

Meatloaf

it's already in the freezer

with a twice bake potato casserole

and salad

Wednesday

Chicken Fajitas

Rice

Refried Black Beans

Thursday

Corn Chowder

again from the freezer

buns

cut veggies

Friday

Hamburgers

Salad

Saturday

Leftovers

Sunday

Grilled Cheese

Cut Veggies

For more menu planning ideas be sure to check out the Organizing Junkie

2011-09-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

To honor Darren, the boys decided to shave their heads. My little man wanted to shave his to. My niece took charge

Here he looks a little like Mr. Jefferson....for those of us who remember that show from long ago!

Finished product. My little man didn't come to the funeral. But it was neat to see all the boys who were there with their shaved heads.

The Official Cause

2011-08-31T13:33:00.000-07:00

So the 'Official' cause of death for Darren is blunt force trauma. So basically the impact killed him. There is no need to share more details then that of the accident. However, the investigation does not show any fault on Darren. The cause and fault lay the driver of the car. It was their error, not Darren's.
Our family are strong believer's in God and we have all certainly been brought closer to each other and to God because of this trauma in our lives. We believe God is amazing and can do amazing things. It's easy to be angry at God for taking Darren. But we know there is a reason. We are just not privy to it at this point. The testimony of Darren's life is pretty amazing to see where he came from, things he did, to who he is today.
Darren always told my sister that he felt he was with God when he was riding his Harley. He would worship and sing to God while he drove and took in the beauty of nature. I asked my sister if I could share part of a vision that was shared with her. She said I could. God provides different gifts to everyone. We all excel at different things in our lives. A friend of my sister's often has visions from God, some people have trouble with this, but I can speak for all of my family when I say we know God can do things we just don't understand and we all feel this is one of them. Even before we read the letter to my sister.
My sister called her close friends to let them know of Darren's death and asked for prayer the day Darren died. At this point we really had no information regarding the accident other than the basics. Darren hit a car that pulled a u-turn and died. The next day my sister's friend was given a vision and I will share just part of this with you. It is really amazing. In the vision Darren is on his Harley driving and Jesus is with him, by the handle bars on the left side, just in front of Darren, basically where he would be holding with his left hand.
The second before impact Jesus grabbed Darren's left hand and pulled his spirit to Him and ascended into heaven (the short version). There is much more to this vision but that is for my sister. I wanted to share this you so you can see how God works.
We had no idea of the details of how Darren hit or what exactly happened. We did find out he broke bones and such, which we basically expected.
Here is how amazing God is. Darren broke his arm and leg on this right side, along with other bones. But Darren's left arm and hand were unbroken. This is the hand and arm that in the vision Jesus used to pull Darren's spirit free. The person who had the vision had no way of knowing any of this information and we didn't know it either until the viewing on Friday.
This speaks to me of how amazing God is and that He was there with Darren. In all this God is with us. The details of the vision are a true testament of God caring for my sister and her family.
You might be saying, ya good for you if you want to believe that, but I don't. Well, I have to say I'm so sorry for you. God is good and He is there for anyone who asks.
Darren used to struggl with believing in God. Darren was at a men's conference and prayed, God if you are real, prove it to me. Make that pastor stop speaking and come and say Hi to me. Right then and there, that pastor stopped and went up to Darren and shook his hand. This is in a large group of people with Darren being in the very back.
God is real and He loves you. It doesn't matter what you have done or if you think you are not good enough. You are amazing and God loves you unconditionally.

Saying Goodbye

2011-08-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

****BLOGGER IS NOT UPLOADING PHOTOS RIGHT NOW, I'LL POST THEM WHEN I FIGURE OUT THE PROBLEM****

As a family and close friends the kids asked us to wear Harley shirts and jeans. I bit unorthodox, yes, but Darren would have loved it. I think we made a good statement walking into the church with our Harley shirts. Showing we are strong together, make the statement that we are a family.
The burial difficult. Watching my sister holding Darren's urn tight, crying not wanting to let go, but knowing she has to. Heart wrenching. We then one by one we added our dahlia's to the grave.

At the church we waiting in the 'family' room. We heard that people were lined up to the road. The church holds 800-850 people. It was full, there were a few empty spots, but not many. How encouraging for a man who said he didn't think even 80 people would come. We remembered, we worshiped God and we prayed.

Sunday

2011-08-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today my family, all 16 of us will go to my sister's church. We don't know if my sister will be up for coming. But we will be there to support her family. After church we will be back at her house. We expect a few extended family to visit that have come from out of town for the funeral tomorrow.
On Friday we had the viewing. I was not looking forward to it. Really, not much right now is worth looking forward to in the next few days.
At first my sister had wanted it family only and a few close friends. At the last minute she opened it up to everyone. It was amazing to see the support. The love that everyone has for her and the kids. The viewing was 3 hours. I thought it would be a very very long 3 hours. It actually went by quickly, for the most part.
My sister had Darren in a side room so it could be more private. She was the first one of course to go in. My dad helped her. It was heartbreaking. I sat with the kids and discussed what to expect and explain it a bit more to them. One by one, they joined their mom. Then my husband and I joined them. It was very odd to see Darren. He didn't look like himself. It was him, but not. His hands were exactly him. He seemed to big for the coffin. I think we all sorta expected him to sit up and say it was all a joke. My sister held his hand the entire time. I really don't think she saw anyone else who came in the room. It was a very difficult time for everyone.
When it was coming time to leave, she asked everyone to gather around and pray over them. We layed hands on them and prayed. Then everyone left them and we closed the door so they could have a private time. My husband and I joined them. My sister, I can't believe how strong she is. She took time to talk to her kids and encourage them, to make sure they each said a goodbye. Then she shared her heart. It was heart wrenching. We all wept. Then left and wept more with those waiting outside.
I received a text as we left and some friends stopped by our house while we at the viewing to see our cavernous fridge. We really had nothing, when we've been home, we have eaten toast. They called to tell us they were getting us a few groceries and what did we need. I wept again. To be loved like that is an amazing feeling. But my mind couldn't even think of what we needed. I listed some basics and then asked them to join us for something to eat at the restaurant. I had not really eaten that day and my husband was starving. It was such a huge blessing to sit with them for a few hours. No sense of death hanging over us. It was so therapeutic and much needed. And the groceries were a huge blessing to us. Thank you my friends for your practical display of love.
Saturday was the day to go to the cemetery and pick out the grave. I didn't make it. I had to pick up a few things my sister needed. But I met them at a local place that grows Dalihas. My sister decided that she wanted Dalihas to be Darren's 'flower'. One that they can take when they visit his grave. We all spend time walking around picking out the one we wanted to be able to lay on his grave. What beautiful flowers.
Monday, we will bury the urn. It will be a very small ceremony, just family and few close friends. It's not open for everyone. But then, we will celebrate Darren's life with all who choose to come to the funeral, or as my son mistakenly called it, the festival. It will be an amazing time. There are some amazing songs picked, my niece has put together a slide show of her dad and some sharing. I will be bringing a box of tissue. At this point, I think we should really all just carry a box with us everywhere.
We appreciate your prayers and continue to need them.

Friday

2011-08-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Right now, our life is not our own. And we are okay with that. Actually on Wednesday we stayed home. My kids needed some 'normal' as bad as it feels to do anything normal right now. My sister and parents worked on paper work and getting Darren's business in order, along with the mass amounts of phone calls to figure out numerous other things that come with a sudden death. Darren's cousin, Albert, wife, Carmen and kids came down from Saskatchewan and spent some time with my sister and her family, so we decided that they didn't us there to add to the noise. Theresa and Darren have always been close with Albert and Carmen. So they all needed some time to mourn together. It also gave my folks a break, which they needed as well.
Thursday we went to check out the church and discuss the reception arrangements. Once we got to the church we realized that is was much to small. We are blown away with the amount of people who are calling and contacting other people close to us to find out about the funeral. So we decided to move the service to the church right beside, which happens to be my parents and my home church. We are grateful they are able to accommodate us on such short notice. Then we will walk over to the other church for the reception.
After figuring all that out, we headed home. But my sister, her kids and my folks all headed out to the funeral home. They needed to provide clothes for Darren. A very difficult thing to consider. Once there, they were able to discuss how the viewing would run and such. And we headed over for dinner with them.
Today, is Friday. Today as a family we will have Darren's viewing. Theresa has decided to keep this a family only viewing. She has said that Darren did not want a viewing but that she had told him that she would have one for him as she needs it. And I completely understand. Darren's death was so unexpected and fast.
It's crazy that I'm sure we have all discussed these things in jest with our spouse before. But the reality is, it's important to know our spouses wishes....if ever. And this is the...if ever...time.
I have felt cried out the last two days. My heart is broken for my sister, nieces and nephew. Our lives will not be the same without Darren. We all depended on him in different ways. I could call Darren anytime if I needed something. He would always help me right away. When I was younger he always made it clear that if someone hurt me, he would take of it for me. He always had my back, even when I didn't know it. He was like that with everyone. He was the person who would hear someone needed some help, he would show up, fix it and leave. Expecting nothing. And the more people we have talked to this week, the more we have heard these stories.
I am scared for tonight. I can't imagine what my sister and her kids are feeling. Please hold us in your prayers tonight.
My sister is hardly holding it together at this point. Again, I'm so grateful for my folks and those who are supporting us. The people who just check in to see if there is anything we need. My sister's friend Paula, who just comes and does the household things. She is amazing and a huge blessing. There are so many people who are helping, I don't even know all their names, yet I talk with them each day.
The kids are each different with how they deal with things. But we are holding each one in prayer. It's going to be a very long time before this seems real. We all say many times a day that we just can't believe it. We all expect Darren to come walking into the room.
We will feel the hole he's left in our lives for a very very long time.

It's Wednesday. I checked.

2011-08-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

We really lose track of the days right now. It feels like so much time has passed, yet we know the coming days and years will be long and sad.
Today is Wednesday, almost 5 full days that we lost Darren. The hole is large, unimaginably large.
On Monday, my dad went to the Mission RCMP to pick up Darren's personal effects. His wallet, watch, phone, Ipod and incredibly his sunglasses that were not damaged. His Ipod froze on the last song he was listening to with 18 seconds of the song left: So long Self, by Mercy Me. One of his favorite bands. Darren would only listen to Christian Music on his Harley. He always drove at the back of the pack, claiming it was the safest, but his alternate motive was so he could worship God and sing loud. He told his wife that when he rode his Harley he could feel God with him, that he was the closest to God at those times, worshiping and riding thru God's glorious nature.
On Tuesday Darren's best friend Dave, who was riding with him the day he died. Took 2 of the kids and they went to pick up more of Darren's things where his bike was being held. Dave also took the kids to the crash site to explain what happened. Both of them said it was abundantly clear that the people who caused the accident really just couldn't see Darren because of how the road slops and rises. The kids knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was an accident that the driver of the car had no intention killing their Dad.
They were able to pick up Darren's vest, head bandana, jacket, gloves, helmet, saddle bags and shoes. It was another very sad moment when those items were brought into the house. They also removed a few items from the bike for memory purposes. And then they showed us the pictures of the bike and car at the towing yard and the damage. We also went over the order of service for the funeral. Not to mention the amount of phone calls and items my dad is trying to get to figure out insurance and other items involved when someone dies.
The flow of people is slowing down. Other people have lives to get to. They are not mourning like we are. Today we are at home for the morning and will go back to be with family this afternoon. We have to do a few 'normal' things like laundry and mowing the lawn. But to be honest, it feels wrong. It feels wrong to be normal.
Personally I am completely emotionally drained. I feel like I have no tears left. I know I do and I know they will come. They will pour down at the service, I already know this. I feel them threatening with I'm discussing 'normal' things people who have no clue what we are going thru right now. I just want to grab them and yell "Don't you know! My brother died! My sister is a widow! My nieces and nephew have no father! How can you act so normal!" But I just try to hold back the tears, nod a thanks and hurry away.
We are all exhausted. We have many things left to do before the service on Monday. And then we discover a new normal. Without a flow of people, trying to get the kids ready for school, trying to live without the love of my sister's life.

I never Imagined

2011-08-23T07:57:00.001-07:00

Darren holding my girly when she was born

We left our camping trip early after we received news you never want to hear.
I'll post about our camping trip another time. Frankly, I have no clue where my camera is much less have we even started to unpack our trailer.
My brother in law, Darren was killed on Saturday. He was driving his Harley and a car coming in the opposite direction pulled a U-turn directly in front of his path. He swerved to miss them, but didn't. He died, we believe, basically instantly. The 4 passengers in the car are unhurt, but the driver now has to live with his mistake and the fact that he took a life.
He leaves my sister a widow and his four children fatherless.
My family is close. We are spending most of our time at my sisters. Supporting. Crying. Cleaning. Retelling. Loving.
We are all crushed. My dad and mom have stopped their lives, really in fact, we have all stopped our own lives. But my dad, I just can't believe how much he has done. He is strong, but he cries with everyone to. He makes sure we love each other. My mom is loving on everyone to. My brother in law ran his own business. My dad and my other brother in law have taken over to make decisions. It's a hard thing as Darren kept a lot of info in his head.
My sister and I, we just do. We see and we do. We answer the door, we handle the food coming in. We sit and cry with the kids. We make sure each person is eating and taking care of themselves.
I never in my entire life expected to write an obituary for one of my family members. I never in life thought I would be sitting down with my family and discuss the funeral arrangements for one of ours. I won't even bother to tell you all the sad and terrible details that come with that.
My kids have been amazing. I have had many offers of people willing to take care of my kids. But because we just don't have a timetable of how long we will be, it's hard. The last few nights we are not home until 10 pm and my kids have been so great. To be honest, my husband has been taking care of them most of the day, I really have no clue what they do during the day. My husband has also been in charge of dealing with putting the food in the freezer. Emptying the garbage, getting it ready for garbage day and he just generally is stepping up where he sees a need. He also is crying with each child, saying we don't have answers.
We know Darren is in heaven. We all have our faith in God. And it is so evident that God is with us. Why did God take Darren when their life was so amazing and good right now. I just don't know and really it's not for us to know right now. God will reveal it, if He wants to. But being a Christian is a lot about faith. And let me tell you, having faith is very much tested right now.
We have a very difficult road a head of us. I have no idea what it will look like. I know that my life apart from my sister, it will be put on hold for now. Except for the things that we have to do. I have cleared my calendar. My job right now is care for my family, not just my kids, but all 16 in my family.
I am so very thankful that my family is pulling together. It's amazing to see how we just gel and fit together with our strengths and weaknesses. How we each step up and how we just cry together and work together.
The funeral is this coming Monday. Then we will have to discover our new normal.
God will carry us. I am so very grateful for my family. And I'm so very grateful for our God.

Wheels

2011-08-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

I can still remember
roller skating around the block
down Eagle then right on Lynn
and around back to Westberry
I loved it
My mom is a saver
and my kids found my skates

my little man calls them Rollerblades
I'm trying to explain the difference
but really,
it doesn't matter

their daddy helped them
the skates are way to big

but still, they had fun

and my little man
even needed to show his Grandpa
that he knew how to 'Rollerblade'

Glamping Trip #2

2011-08-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

Glamping = Glamorized Camping
we have an RV
we plug it in
we have a microwave
we have a bathroom
we have comfy beds
I think you get the point
we Glamp

We went a short way south

with some friends
we had a great time

the weather was cool
but enjoyable
I didn't take enough pictures

Honey Muffins

2011-08-09T07:16:00.001-07:00

My kids love it
when I bake something
for their breakfast
so a fast and easy
recipe to whip up
like these Honey Muffins
were a must do for me

Honey Muffins

2 cups All-purpose Flour
½ cups Granulated Sugar
3 teaspoons Baking Powder
½ teaspoons Salt
1 Egg
1 cup Milk
¼ cups Butter, Melted
¼ cups Honey

Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. In another bowl, whisk together the egg, milk, butter, and honey. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients just until combined. Fill muffin tins 3/4 full. Bake at 400ºF for 15-18 minutes.

My kids loved these
and loved the ease of
throwing them together

Give them a try
I plan to add Carob
when I make them next

Menu Plan Monday.....NIGHT

2011-08-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

We made it back
this afternoon from
a short camping trip

I hope to do some
cooking that will
benefit our camping trip
for next week
yes, that's right
we are off again next week
for 5 nights

No point in starting
with Monday so
I'll get right on with Tuesday

TUESDAY
Chicken Soup
cut veggies
my boy has been
asking for this
for a week

WEDNESDAY
Spaghetti
Salad
I'll make extra sauce
and freeze some
for a camping meal

THURSDAY
Chicken Fajitas
cut veggies
I'll cook extra chicken
so we can have this
meal for camping also

FRIDAY
Hamburgers
Salad
I'll be making extra
for camping

SATURDAY
Spaghetti Bake
(from the leftovers)
Salad

SUNDAY
Breakfast for Dinner

I hope to get these
extra dinners prepared
to make camp cooking a breeze

For more menu ideas
be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie

Turning 4 on the 4th

2011-08-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

My little man
is a fireworks baby
he was born on the 4th of July
we do live in Canada
but with a sister in the USA
they were very excited about the date

Like most years
we were camping
for his birthday
I don't do parties yet
we keep it low key

He had a great time
each time we go camping
he asks if we can bring our animals
and stay there to live

We gave him a tool box
he has really enjoyed it
and enjoys fixing anything
that he deems needs fixing

Happy 4th Birthday
to my little man

Summa Time

2011-08-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

It's a busy Summer
we have been camping
and hanging out at home

Our first camping trip
was 10 days
with my folks
and some of my family
we stayed fairly local

I was super excited
to see these amazing
metal sculptures

designed and made
by a local artist
Kevin Stone
Metal Animation

he has a few on his yard
people are welcome
to come and see them

Kevin was home
the day we visited
such a nice guy
and wonderful to talk with
he also restores
vintage vehicles

it was a great place
and amazing work
if you are local
check it out

I'll post more
on our camping trip
or trips I should say
we leave tomorrow for another
short trip

Menu Plan Monday

2011-08-01T07:41:00.000-07:00

We are having a busy summer
my blogging
is on the back burner
We've just gotten back
from a 4 night camping trip
and I'm cleaning the clothes
to put right back in the trailer
as we head out again for this weekend

But without a menu plan
I feel lost all week
so here goes for this week

MONDAY
beef burritos
with salad

TUESDAY
Lentils with Rice and fried onions
Salad

WEDNESDAY
Sausage Potato Soup
Salad

THURSDAY
Tortellini
in a homemade white sauce
cut veggies

FRIDAY
we leave today for camping
Simple Sandwiches
cut veggies

SATURDAY
camping
Simple BBQ Chicken
Potatoes
Salad

SUNDAY
camping
BBQ Hamburgers
Salad

We head home on Monday
only to clean and pack
and get ready for our next trip

For more menu planning ideas
check out Organizing Junkie

2011-07-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, has it really been
a whole month
since my last post
it must be camping time
I have some pictures to post soon

I've missed my menu plan
I feel very unorganized without it
and our meals have been
all over the place

MONDAY
Cowboy Beans
Rice
Salad

TUESDAY
Chicken Fajitas
Salad

WEDNESDAY
Sausage Potato Soup
Buns
Cut Veggies

THURSDAY
Pizza Quesadillas
Salad

FRIDAY
Hamburgers
Salad

SATURDAY
Leftovers

SUNDAY
We've been invited
out for dinner

WHEW
that feels better
now I know what is going on
for my meals at least

For many more menu ideas
be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie

Pull Pork Sandwiches

2011-06-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

Pulled Pork seems to be popular
I'm not a big fan of pork
but I wanted to give it a try
I spoke with my Aunt
at Gelderman Farms
where they raise all natural pigs
and sell the wonderful product

My aunt helped me out
found a nice pork roast
for me to use
gave me many ideas
on how to make pulled pork

In the end
I went with the easy route
but if you feel adventures
search the web
and you will find many
different variations of pulled pork

I started with
smashed garlic cloves

piled a sliced onion
with the garlic
and a bit of water
all in the slow cooker

I cooked this
for about 6 hours on low
then out come the roast
and my wonderful mom
removed any extra fat
that was left on it

use two forks
to pull the meat apart
it will be very tender
and be very easy to shred
I added the BBQ sauce
I had in my fridge
and a bit of the liquid
left in the slowcooker
until it was a consistancy
I thought was good
We piled it on
nice fresh grain buns
and topped it with
some coleslaw

this meal was very good
and very simple
served with a nice salad

my girly
she loves
jumping
on the trampoline
even in the rain

No Rise Cinnamon Rolls

2011-06-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

These are super fast
and yummy
I easily make them
for breakfast
my boy asks me
once a week for them

Dough
2 cups Flour
(you can use 1/2 white and 1/2 whole wheat)
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup butter
(I use frozen and shred it)
3/4 to 1 cup of milk

Mix together dry
add the butter
(use a pastry blender if you don't use frozen)

add milk until a bit sticky

put on a floured surface

roll out into a rough square
add a little extra flour if you need to

Filling
Butter
brown sugar
cinnamon

I use my hands
to spread the butter

then add the cinnamon

then add and pat down brown sugar

Roll up dough
once the filling is how you like

slice into about 10 rolls
(the picture is a double recipe)

use a pan with sides (9x13)
bake at 375 for 25 mins

SO SO YUM!
SO SO EASY
a fight even broke out
over the leftovers

Wordless Wednesday - Treehouse Building

2011-06-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Menu Plan Monday

2011-06-12T20:15:00.001-07:00

Last week went great
I worked hard to
stay away from the grocery store
and changed things to work with that

Right on to this week

MONDAY
Roast Beef
Potatoes
Salad

TUESDAY
Chicken Fajitas
Mexican Rice
Salad

WEDNESDAY
Leftover Roast
LO potatoes
cut veggies

THURSDAY
BLT Sandwiches
Fruit smoothies
cut veggies

FRIDAY
Sole
LO mexian rice
Salad

SATURDAY
Chicken Soup
Buns

SUNDAY
Breakfast for Dinner

For more menu plan ideas
be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie
every Monday morning

Mujadarrah (Lentils and Rice with Fried Onions)

2011-06-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

This vegetarian dish
G.O.O.D
and
E.A.S.Y
seriously
I saw the recipe
some time ago
had it on my menu
a few weeks
and never got to it
this week
I had something else on my menu
but didn't have all the ingredients
so I made this instead
and I'm so glad I did!

Majadarrah - Lentils and Rice with Fried Onions
6 tablespoons olive oil
1 large white onion, sliced into rings
I used 2 cooking onions...next time I'll use 3
1 1/3 cups uncooked green lentils
3/4 cup uncooked long-grain white rice
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup plain yogurt or sour cream (optional)

after reading the comments
I also added
1 tsp cumin

1/4 tsp cinnamon

-Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir in the onions, and cook about 10 minutes, until browned. Remove from heat, and set aside.
-Place lentils in a medium saucepan with enough lightly salted water to cover. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer about 15 minutes.
-Stir rice and enough water to cover into the saucepan with the lentils. Season with salt and pepper. Cover saucepan, and continue to simmer 15 to 20 minutes, until rice and lentils are tender.
-Mix half the onions into the lentil mixture. Top with yogurt or sour cream and remaining onions to serve.

This was seriously so easy
and the taste was amazing

It seems that my boy
needs to take photos
of the meals now also

My girly
seems she is attached
to her bike helmet

Greek Potatoes

2011-06-08T20:24:00.000-07:00

We had a vegetarian feast last weekend
to celebrate our friends new born girly
I didn't have my camera
but the food was
a.m.a.z.i.n.g
I had my friend send me
her recipe for the Greek Potatoes
they are so so good

Here is her original vegetarian version
keep reading to see my changes
for a non vegetarian version

8 large potatoes, peeled, cut into large wedges
4-8 cloves garlic, minced - the more the better
1/2 cup olive oil
2 1/2 cups water
1 tbsp oregano
1/3 cup lemon juice
sea salt
fresh coarse ground black pepper
4-6 tbsp vegetarian 'chicken' seasoning
-if using real chicken broth then substitute it for some of the water

I used a lot of garlic
yum

here is the garlic
grape seed oil
lemon juice
and oregano

chopped potatoes
salt and pepper

I used a can of chicken broth
and enough water
to equal 2 1/2 cups of liquid

mixed together
into the pan
and into the oven
at 400 for 40ish minutes
then stir to brown the underside
if more water is needed
add a small amount
cook an additional 20 minutes

these are amazing
and so easy
I served with some
BBQ Souvlaki Chicken
and a salad

go forth
eat Greek
potatoes that is

Menu Plan Monday

2011-06-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling remarkably better
and ready to head into this new week
I'm going to keep my menu simple
we need to make budget friendly meals
and use things I already have in the house

Monday
Taco Salad

Tuesday
Greek Spice BBQ Chicken
Greek Potatoes
Roasted Veggies
I just need to get some fresh veggies
and lemon juice
everything else I have on hand

Wednesday
CrockPot Lentil Soup
Cut Vegetables
Toast
need chicken broth, canned tomatoes and the veg

Thursday
Ham casserole of some sort
I have leftover ham in the freezer

Friday
Freezer meal
Shepherd's Pie
Salad

Saturday
Chicken Soup
Cut Veggies

Sunday
left overs
clean out the fridge

For many more menu ideas
be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie

Update

2011-06-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight for dinner
for the second time
I made the
Creamy Tomato Soup
I used less tomato paste
and was very pleased with the result

(this fish in the picture went missing
pretty sure the cat in the picture
ate it....I have no proof)

I'm doing so much better
God is good and the
wonderful comments were amazing
it turns out I'm going thru withdrawal
I've been decreasing my meds
but news to me
the medication I'm on
is one of the more
difficult ones to come off of
and I was decreasing to fast
so I have a new plan in place
and I will keep plugging away
and in a few months I hope
to be off my depression medication

Other great news
my kids are actually
playing nice these days
after a good week of
constant fighting

Randomcity

2011-05-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Busy
that's how it's been
but life with toddlers
that is to be expected

I've been avoiding
many things

I've written about
my struggle with depression
I decided it was time
time to decrease my meds
after consulting with my doctor

I would have to say
it was not the right decision
I have slowly been falling
falling back
back into the depths of depression

I had just climbed out
of the deep hole
I was enjoying the wonderful view
I then turned around
and peered back down
then slowly
inch by unnoticeable inch
I headed back down
but my sight was not looking down
not yet
I could still see the wonderful that was
maybe that is why I didn't notice

Things just changed ever so slightly
until the anxiety bubbled
the tears came
my thoughts are muddled
my body is shaky
my sleep is not restful
my mind has thoughts of death
I am overwhelmed
with the slightest thing

I can now see it
the decline
the so slight decline
that continues
but this time
I know the drill
I picked up the phone
insisted on an appointment
as soon as possible
it was not as difficult
as the first time I had to call
two years ago
when I teetered
I'm more aware
aware of the help I can get

I will not slip any farther down that slope
I know what it involves
It may have crept up on me
but I now know what to do
I will climb back out
I will heal
it will just take time
prayer and support
all of which I have

Until that time
I will go back up on my meds
I will enjoy life
I will love my family
I will take my time
I will heal
and I will try again

Menu Plan Monday

2011-05-30T07:20:00.001-07:00

We had an unexpected change
in our income as we lost
a renter without notice
and this will greatly
effect our already tight income
so I need to work on
cleaning out the pantry
and the freezer
along with keeping
my grocery budget
as low as I can

MONDAY
Spaghetti with meat sauce
Salad
I have left over sauce from last week
nothing needed to purchase
for this meal

TUESDAY
Pan fried Sole
Rice
Salad
nothing needed to purchase
for this meal

WEDNESDAY
BBQ Chicken
BBQ Potato
Roasted Veggies
nothing needed to purchase
for this meal

THURSDAY
Fancy Grilled Cheese
Tomato Soup
cut veggies
I'll need to buy some
fresh veggies by this point

FRIDAY
Freezer meal
Shepherd's Pie
Salad
nothing needed to purchase
for this meal

SATURDAY
left overs
or scrambled omelets
with cut veggies
nothing needed to purchase
for this meal

SUNDAY
breakfast for dinner
I need to purchase
some bacon

Overall I only need
to purchase some
fresh vegetables and fruit
and some bacon
I'm on the lookout
for some ground beef on sale
so if I find some I'll grab it
other items on my grocery list
pancake mix
whole wheat flour
cat litter
melatonin

I'll be sitting down today
and figuring out a new budget
so I will have a better idea
of what my weekly
grocery budget will be

For more menu planning
ideas and resources
be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie
and Marvelous Menu Monday

Wordless Wednesday - Jumping

2011-05-24T20:44:00.001-07:00

Menu Plan Monday

2011-05-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so last week
we had my folks here
and there was no plan
we managed
no one went hungry
so that is good

Here we go onto
the new week

Monday
it's a holiday Monday here
and mid afternoon
we are meeting friends
for Ice Cream
at the new Cold Stone Creamery
here in town
to celebrate a birthday
so I have no dinner planned
I think it will be popcorn
or something like that

Tuesday
Lentils and Rice with fried Onions
this has been on my menu plan
and I've not gotten to it yet
fingers crossed I will
served with Salad

Wednesday
Homemade Hamburgers
oven fries
cut veggies

Thursday
BBQ Chicken
Pesto Spaghetti
Salad

Friday
Homemade Pizza
cut veggies

Saturday
Ground Beef and Black Bean Burritos
Salad

SundayWe have a large family get together
and it's a potluck
I'm not sure what I'm bring yet
something simple and easy

For more menu ideas
be sure to check out
The Organizing Junkie
and Marvelous Menu

2011-05-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

My Menu Plan
is a bit lack luster
but I think
my family will still be happy

Monday
Crock Pot Roast Beef
Mashed Potatoes
Yorkshire pudding
Cut Veggies

Tuesday
Spaghetti
with Meat Sauce
Salad

Wednesday
Roast Beef Sandwiches
with Salad

Thursday
4 Year Old's Birthday Party
I'm bringing a salad

Friday
Taco Soup
Cut Veggies

Saturday
We might be heading out
to a fundraiser
if not
Homemade Pizza

Sunday
Breakfast for dinner

I'm hoping to try these
Pizza Pockets
to freeze for lunches

For many many more
menu ideas check out
The Organizing Junkie

Menu Plan Monday

2011-04-25T20:23:00.001-07:00

I'm excited
my shopping is done
I've struggled with
my menu plan
due to the fact
that I don't get out
and get what I need

This week
I was able
to get all my shopping done
and I even remembered my list

Monday
We cleaned out the fridge

Tuesday
Pulled Pork
Coleslaw
Salad

Wednesday
Pan fried Sole
Quinoa
Spaghetti Squash
Salad

Thursday
BBQ Chicken
BBQ Potatoes
BBQ Vegetables

Friday
Lentils and Rice with Fried Onions
Salad

Saturday
Dinner at my In Laws

Sunday
Lunch at Church
I need to bring a Veggie Plate
Dinner - Pancakes

For menu ideas
check out the
Organizing Junkie