Avoidance

It wasn't planned

it wasn't for any reason

but I have been in

Avoidance Mode

The thing with depression

it sneaks up on you

things are going fantastic

then all of a sudden

it's not

it gives no warning

it takes no prisoners

it is crappy

I had a great week last week

Friday came and things changed

no specific reason

various stresses

took their toll

Why do we put such

high expectations on ourselves

it's silly really

no actual job in the outside world

would give you the responsibility

that moms have at home

climbing out of the hole

that's the hard part

everything looks like too much

there are tears

there is anger

there is fear

everything has been hard this week

but things are getting easier

I have an understanding Husband

and an understand family

I have support

It's hard to ask

I'm getting better

I've removed certain expectations

I had to, to survive

I will be back blogging

I do love it

We leave for camping tomorrow

10 days with my sister and her family

my folks are there for some of it too

I'm mostly ready

no big deal if I miss something

it's not to far from my home

I'm learning to let things go

to learn that most things

are not critical

my family needs me

they are my priority

not a clean house

not perfect kids

not a four course meal

if we eat cereal it's fine

we eat it together

I'm still learning

This is where I am

flawed and saved by Grace

God is Good

I'll try to post while camping

I can't promise

I'm not going to commit

I don't need to stress

I need to enjoy