Thursday, April 29, 2010

If you've followed me, you know it's been busy at my place. Today, we had no extra people at our house, it was very nice. We love Grandpa Gerkin and we'll miss him, he did an amazing job and it was so nice having someone working in my house that we all are so comfortable with.
Let me just show you my tile in the kitchen.

In this picture you can see the new paint, the new counters, the new tile, the new floor and my fancy new over the stove old one handed down to me from my sister was nearing at least 15 years old.....I'll be taking a picture of my new sink for you soon!

I love it!

here is a close up of the tile and counter...

Okay, so enough about that...
I've been trying to be better at making an effort to engage my kids more and turn the TV off more....
This afternoon while the girly was sleeping, the little man and I made some apple banana muffins and some no bake cookies

The little man is explaining how yummy in his tummy these are going to be

he was in charge of mashing the bananas and of course every good baker takes a taste test right?

These muffins turned out really really yummy...we did however totally FORGET the sugar and only remembered 1/2 the baking powder...but I wasn't the one reading the it's not my fault. But I like them better this way - with no sugar added

My other half and I planned to go away this weekend for two nights of alone time. However, he has a cold :( So we are staying home for him to rest up as he has eye surgery next Wednesday and he has to kick this cold or they reschedule

He booked the week off work so we really really want this to happen. He isn't getting the lasik, he's not a candidate for that. He is having a contact lens implanted. Dr. Blaylock is noted as the best eye surgeon on the west coast so he will be doing the surgery.
And here are my kidlets using the girlys bed as a trampoline....

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Zucchini Pancakes

Zucchini Pancakes

If you know me at may know that I try different things for my family. I try very hard to get veggies in my kids. Most mornings my kids eat super green smoothies that have a ton of spinach in them. So in saying that, I read about some people adding veggies to their of course I couldn't not try that! I was considering putting spinach in the pancakes this morning, but I was worried about the water content in the spinach. So I grabbed the next thing I thought would work, Zucchini
I mixed up my batter, the 6 grain pancake mix from Costco...and shredded the zucchini

throw them in the batter and mix

Chat with your helper as your pan heats up about the merits of balloons and the things you can do with them. My regular helper was busy watching Dora

Then cook them up! The pancakes of course, not the balloons

While the pancakes cook up, check in on your helper

Flip....and look at how yummy these pancakes are going to be

Ask your helper to call Daddy and her brother....and smile as she just wants to play with her balloon at your feet and thank God for such a sweet girl

Sit down for some domestic bliss and a family breakfast where the kids are loving their zucchini pancakes

And to think this was all before 830 this morning!
So now..I'm trying to consider what is next for these pancakes...I'm thinking some sweet potato... Oh well...smoothies for tomorrow!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


It was a nice night, I even made dinner....we had no extra people in our house after was wonderful! I love having company, but I love to have a laid back night to.

The little man was so tired he had no issue heading to bed and fell asleep during the last verse of 'Fishers of men' Fingers crossed and prayers up that he'll stay in his own bed tonight...high hopes...really high

My sweet girly always goes to bed like a champ and sleep thru the night.

There is light at the end of the tunnel...My bathroom is FINISHED!! (for the most part anyway) I actually started to put things back in there!
My kitchen is pretty much done also, except again for a few things. I have a few things that Grandpa Gergen will take care of when he's back from his Missions Trip.
What a great feeling and it came together so fast...however, at times it seemed like a long time. Now it's the long process of putting things back...and purging some more!
I'll be posting pictures soon....

Monday, April 26, 2010

Post Partum Depression

I`ve mentioned before that I am struggling with Post Partum Depression (PPD). I work for a christian publishing company and had previously talked with one of my editors about writing about it. He asked if I was ready to do that yet and mentioned it would be a good article for the family supplement in our May paper; only if I was ready. The paper goes to press this week and it looks like they want to use my article for the main feature in the paper, the Testimony page. Nothing is certain until it`s printed. But here it is. I opened myself up for this because I pray that my journey can help just one person. This is a very condensed version of my life this last year, but this is what is to be printed if they go with it.

Post Partum Depression, my Journey so far

Everyone one was telling me I had the ‘million dollar’ family: the amazing husband, an adorable son and a newborn beautiful daughter along with a dog and a house.
Why was it then that everyday I wanted to be dead? I could picture hurting myself or my kids. Why was I crying all time? Why was the prospect of driving into traffic better than going home?
I remember (and that’s saying a lot considering my memory is so poor right now) camping with my family in May of last year. I was standing in the trailer crying and telling my husband Phil something was wrong with me. He held me while I cried (something I don’t often do) and assured me we would figure it out together.
Raina, my daughter was born March 2nd, 2009 – nine days late, after an otherwise uneventful labor. I was amazed at how great I felt afterward, and the recovery was much faster and easier than it had been after my son Dax had been born 20 months earlier.
I was loving being a mother of two, puttering around the house and taking care of my kids.
But from that point until the third weekend in May, I can’t remember a thing. I just remember knowing something wasn’t right. I don’t know how I survived.

“Get Over It”
I didn’t want to believe that it could be post partum depression (PPD). I was too capable, to strong willed, to independent to fall prey to THAT, I was sure I could just ‘get over it’.
But I learned that no matter how capable, strong willed or independent I was, I couldn’t control my mental health. PPD is an actual problem that you just can’t ‘get over’. The brain is actually missing parts and pieces and needs to fix itself.
I was on the phone with my best friend and she noticed I wasn’t myself. She encouraged me to talk to a mutual friend who has gone thru PPD.
It took me a month to get the courage to make that call, but Phil gently encouraged me. After speaking with her and talking more with Phil, I went to the doctor.
He confirmed that it was more than just the ‘baby blues’. I started on medication - one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
I had to tell my parents and sisters. I think everyone of them said that I seemed to be doing so well. That’s the secret of PPD. If someone only sees you for short periods, it’s easy to hide what’s going on.

Sworn to Secrecy
I swore everyone to secrecy. I couldn’t handle people knowing I wasn’t mentally stable. I felt that society still had a stigma regarding depression and I would get that look - you know the one, the one that says “you’re taking the easy way out.” If it was them they would just suck it up and deal with and get over it - so I should to.
I could not have made it thru this year without Phil. I don’t think he figured he’d have to take our marriage vows quite so seriously. I spent days laying on the couch with my son watching TV. Making sure both kids were fed and dressed, that is all I was capable of.

Precious memories lost
I remember very little of this last year, the first year of Raina’s life. I’m very sad about that.
There were many times when I was driving somewhere and couldn’t remember where I was going much less how to even get there. I had to turn around and go home, crying.
I can remember one day walking into the kitchen, and knowing that Phil would have to clean it. I honestly could not wrap my brain around how to clean it. I cried.
I also remember one day I walked in the house with a bag of something. Dax called out “dinner time!.”
I was shocked. My son thought food came from a take-out bag. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been able to prepare a meal for my family.
I don’t remember when Raina was baptised I only remember it was a Sunday.
But I remember walking into church, and God pointed out two individuals to me – telling me they would be talking to me that day. These were not people I normally talked to, but had known for years. Both of those people came up to me and said very encouraging words to me, words that carried me for a bit.

Almost healed
I’m in a much better place now - not healed but getting there. I don’t have a problem with people knowing I have PPD now. I’m still on medication and still working thru things.
I’ve been for counselling and worked on some cognitive therapy. I’m working with a mentor who reminds me that I’m beautiful, that I’m God’s daughter and He’s taking care of me.
I’ve had to humble myself in a lot of areas this year and accept help, instead of trying to be independent. I’ve had to let go of many things and rely more than ever on Phil.
It has been a very difficult year for my family and it has changed all of us, not just me. I’m only now bonding with Raina and discovering her hilarious personality.
But God is good. Without Him, my husband and my family I wouldn’t be here to write this.

Our new Normal
We are working towards finding our new normal. It’s a slow process, slower then I would like, but I’m not in control - God is. I’m finding out who I am again. I can capture glimpses of myself more often now and it’s very comforting. I look forward to meeting that person again soon and having her stick around.
I can’t tell you when I will be healed or when I’ll be off my medication. I’m okay with that - most days anyway. I still don’t have it all together. I’m able to cook most nights for my family, and I am able to enjoy my kids and be even more in love with my husband – who gave me unconditional support during this time without ever complaining, telling me every single day that he loved me and that I was beautiful.
God is good.
There is no shame depression. If you can see yourself in my story, talk to someone.
Ask for help.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Menu Plan Monday

Do I bother?? Really? Last week was a total write off, almost. But I have to remember we are in renos and I didn't clue in that my kitchen was in the middle of it last week. So access to my kitchen for cooking was limited at times.

This week, however, I have high hopes!! Really!

Monday - spaghetti and meatballs. moved from last week and an easy one

Tuesday - I will try the Curry Lentil soup this week as I didn't get it made last week. I'll have it with naan and cut up veg

Wednesday - Chicken. Something in the crockpot I think...Not sure yet

Thursday - Taco Salad. I have some taco meat in the freezer so this should be an easy one

Friday - Greek Baked Chicken with Rice and Salad

Saturday and Sunday - The Husband and I might be taking off for two nights so nothing planned. If we stay it will be easy meals, cereal and pancakes

For more Menu Plans check out the Organizing Junkie!

I have been making more of an effort to enjoy time with my kids and not feel the never ending pressure of keeping a spotless house.
We took time to take our kids to the aquarium this weekend, it was raining hard on Saturday morning, but we decided to head out anyway as rain is common here. Fingers crossed it meant less people. We had a great time and by the time we got to the aquarium it was a drizzle. Gotta love the west coast weather.
Here are a few pics of our fun...oh and bonus points for me as I packed a lunch so the only cost was for my husband and I and the kids are still free :)

Friday, April 23, 2010


April at Angel Foods Kitchen has been kind enough to award me this Blog award

April has some fantastic recipes on her blog. Stop by and check it out.

Here are the rules to follow with The Kreativ Blogger Award:

1. Post the award.
2. Thank and mention the person who gave you the award.
3. Pass the award on to seven blogs who you think embody the spirit of the Kreativ Blogger Award.
4. Name seven things about yourself that others don't know.
5. Don't forget to notify your seven Bloggers about their award and post a link to their blog.

I find I don't have the time to get to into many blogs but there are a few that I find myself going to quite often for ideas and great recipes. I think they deserve this award even more then I do.

1. All Home Cooking
2. Blessings Overflowing
3. Jamie Cooks It Up
4. Just another Day the Kihns
5. Happy Little Home
6. Crystal and Co.
7. Finding Joy in My Kitchen

Now for 7 things about me!

1. I don't own an Iron. I think my mom has one hidden in my house, but I have no clue on how to use it
2. I have 7 tatoos and will getting #8 shortly for my daughter
3. I love spending time with my family and my husband
4. I have been at my job for just short of 10 years...
5. I really enjoy cooking and trying new things
6. I enjoy reading. I used to devour books before I had kids, I don't have as much time for them now, but I still enjoy a good book when I can
7. I have really enjoyed figuring out our renos and picking colors.

Thanks APRIL!!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I had no clue what to title this post...So my day, was LONG! I posted yesterday that our septic was in need of being pumped out. The good people were able to come the day we called, so my wonderful hubby spent 2 hours digging to the septic tank this morning. He gets home from his graveyard shift at 730am and he stayed up to dig this. The people were here by 1 and done by 130. YAY, I thought, I can do laundry now!

And my new dishwasher had this backup in the bottom so I thought it would clear up with my septic being pumped....NOT SO!
The backup is from something else and will be fixed tomorrow.
After my septic was pumped, I went downstairs and heard the sump pump from my downstairs toilet running and running and running....NOT GOOD. And my shower was backing up with sewer...NOT GOOD. This is my only toilet in the house right now....I called the plumbing company and told them my sad story and that I needed it fixed ASAP...they came in 20 minutes! It turns out something plastic was flushed down the toilet and stuck in the our septic was not the problem at all...the whole time it was our sump pump...but the septic needed to be done anyway at some point.
However, I was without a toilet for a few hours today..NOT FUN! But the amazing plumbing company had it fixed for me and I now have a toilet to use and I can do laundry and we can shower....we would not have been able to any of this if the pump was not fixed.

This was our dinner tonight...Fish, Sole to be exact. Have I told you how much I really really dislike fish? I really do. REALLY, it took all my effort to not heave while eating and to not make faces. I was telling myself that I'm old enough to not act like a 4 year old. But I had the shivers from it, I hate it that much. But I ate my portion...small portion...and tried my hardest to not let my kids see how much I DISlike it.
I'm currently eating popcorn because I'm still hungry and the kids are now sleeping.

The girly loved it...a lot

The little man wouldn't look at me until I said I had chocolate

See how much she likes it....she just leaned over and ate right off her plate
After the day I had, I needed something sweet...with a good coffee....enter frozen cookies and my Guatemalan coffee that is for special things only as it's right from my friend in Guatemala and I've never had such amazing coffee

The little man was excited to have some cookies
"it's my favorite mommy" So cute..but he says that about a lot of things

The little man then went and got his sister to let her know of the cookie goodness they were going to partake in

There was lots of laughing and giggling while the cookies were baking. This made my day so much better. Now I'm just going to finish some popcorn and head to bed soon.
Tomorrow my new counter tops come, the grout is getting done in my bathroom and who knows what else is in little man has already told me he's staying home and doesn't want to go to play bad buddy, we have to get our sink for the kitchen tomorrow!
Stay tuned for more kitchen and bathroom updates.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Reno Update....Bathroom

So the bathroom has been started....and it's moving along FAST.....I'm so happy with how it's looking!

Here are some before/during shots...

And here is how it's looking today....
the tub is in, the custom surround is done. We had to get a custom one installed because of that window and I didn't want tile in the shower...this will be much easier to clean after showers and baths

I've always liked the look of subway tile in a bathroom so I'm so excited to be able to do that!

So can anyone guess what this is??

this is the septic system backing up into our shower...OH JOY! Just another thing to deal with when you think everything is coming together. So laundry will be on hold, but thankfully after Phil digs down to the tank in the morning the septic people said they can be here in the same day to pump it out and take care of I hope to only be down for a day on watching the water and I hope that my dishwasher, toilet and laundry will drain correctly....fingers crossed there's not a problem in the drainage field.
I should have some more bathroom photos for you soon!! All pretty and finished with paint, grout and a sink and toilet!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Menu Plan Monday #15 - April 19 - 25

Okay, you wouldn't know it, but I do really really enjoy cooking and trying new things. If you were to look at my life right now, you would say I really really enjoy picking up the phone and ordering in....I do enjoy that's where we are at right now...but it's not any kind of good on the pocket book. I have such good intentions at the start of the week....But again, this is a new week....let's try again!
Hubby mentioned he would love to try one new ethnic food a week. We enjoy all different types of flavours and foods so I would like to do this also. But I'm trying to make sure I don't overwhelm myself right now....this is important for my recovery. So we shall see. We are going to try it on a Tuesday as we are both home and we can both work on a perfect world that is anyway.
Okay, so the kitchen is not being worked on this week during our renos, so this should help. Our upstairs bathroom is getting worked on.

Monday - Homemade Pizza, I've been craving this....

Tuesday - Lentil Curry with Naan Bread and brown rice

Wednesday - Fish....still trying to make this...can you tell I don't like fish...I keep moving it forward. With rice and salad

Thursday - Spaghetti with meatballs and salad and maybe a homemade bread....MAYBE..
Friday - Grilled Cheese/ham/tomato sandwiches with tomato soup and cut up veg

Saturday - eggs..of some sort with something and veg/fruit

Sunday - Pancakes....yum yum

Okay, fingers crossed, prayers up that this can happen! Be sure to check out the Organizing Junkie for more menu plans!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Reno Update....FLOORS

After 13 years of the previous kitchen floor..

I'm to excited to introduce you to my new kitchen floor, as modeled by our cat, Blue

The kids are already running around on it

And here is Blue showing you another view....I so love these floors!!

Grandpa Gergen as my little man calls our contractor...he says the name wrong, but it's so cute and reminds me of Gerkins...the pickles...hahaha.
Anyway, Grandpa Gergen was here nice and early to get started and both kids wanted in on the action

My little man kept asking Grandpa Gergen a question, which I was able to translate for him as "Grandpa Gergen, can I please help you"
Here they are discussing the best option on removing my old dishwasher....

I was able to eventually pull both kids away with some crying as they both love Grandpa Gergen and off we went to register my little man for his new preschool next September. I was able to get him into a preschool at a local church not to far from my place so I'm happy about that.
Then a little prebed TV time as Daddy headed into work early for some overtime...

Did I mention Grandpa Gergen also installed my NEW dishwasher! YAY! My other one was also 13 years I'm excited to have a new one. I need to find the instructions however as I locked the buttons and have no clue how to unlock them!! Darn new Dishwasher with all it's fancy buttons!
HEHE, look at those wonderful floors!!
Today all the tiles came for my kitchen and bathroom! The kitchen won't be finished until my counter tops come in...a week or so. But my bathroom is going to be worked on, on Monday. I have a custom tub enclosure being installed on Monday. Old house means some problems and I have to get a custom one, not just an easy install one. And I'm getting tiling done on my walls and that's being started on Monday as exciting!